SNOWBOUND
by The Jagans
Summary: COMPLETE! Hiei and Botan are unfortunately stranded…in a shopping mall no less! As they try and escape, they meet a few familiar faces and a few new ones at that. Their aim is to get to fresh air before Hiei's katana is whipped into the frustrating mix
1. Enter: Kaze, Shoujo, and Shounen!

A/N: We are Kinaka Capri and Son Christine. Salutations. This is our very first fanfiction and it is quite humorous. Yuu Yuu Hakusho rules. So this is why we decided to join forces and create humor like you have never read before. Yes, our beloved characters of YYH are in fact Snowbound, so if there is any lingering curiosity in your minds, read to find out how they react to this sudden mess. Enjoy!!!

Snowbound  
"What the jigoku? We're stuck here in this puzzling and annoying human breeding ground?!" Hiei barked, watching the snowstorm from inside a local mall. "Oh, it's not that bad, Hiei," Botan said cheerfully, waving a hand at him. "Besides, even if we ARE stuck here, snowbound…trapped…erm." "Very nice, ferry girl, you being as dull-witted as you usually are, proved my point entirely."  
"At least it's…uh…scenic?" Botan provided lamely. The Jaganshi just rolled his eyes and wandered off in some random direction. Botan grabbed his arm. "You can't leave me here! Alone. In the dark." He yanked his arm away and continued walking. "I can, and I will. It's a great deal more relaxing than standing here listening to your grating voice all night."  
  


"You can at least try and be the optimist! We are the ONLY ONES here, so it would be just peachy keen if you can at least try and cooperate with me." Hiei's ruby orbs shot up at her and immediately after, he let out a loose shrug. "Fine. But I really don't suppose that you have any brilliant ideas. For one thing, it was your idea to bring me here. Since the old bitch put me on probation, I'm forced to give up my freedom and sadly, I HAVE to be paired up with you," the youkai said rather sarcastically. "Thanks, love you too," Botan retorted; an exposure of the tongue soon followed. "Save it…let's just see if there's at least ONE pathetic weakling locked up in this pathetic hellhole." "For once, Hiei, I agree with you completely…"  
  


Botan scrutinized the mall map. "You are here," she read. "Okay. Um…" "WHY are we here?" asked Hiei, lurking nearby on a bench. "It's not like it matters WHERE we go, just so long as we find SOMEONE." Botan blinked blankly. "Uh…right. So where do we start?" Her question was answered by a few sudden crashes from the direction of the fondue shop. "…That works." She paused for a moment, then shoved Hiei in front of her. "You first?" The youkai just snorted scornfully and took a few cautious steps forward, one hand on his katana hilt. After a few moments of tense silence, out flew a figure, covered completely in fondue. Further analysis found this figure to be none other than JIN!  
  


"Care to tell us what you're doing here, Jin?" Botan asked, arching a cerulean eyebrow. "Well, well. Interrogating, you are, you are," Jin shot back; he placed a hand on his hip and shrugged. "I came to this here place you people got here, I did. Never figured that it would close and I'd be stuck." Hiei sighed and sat himself down near a rather large vat of fondue. "Well, we may as well make the best of it," Jin continued, his Irish accent in full swing. "I guess it's good I found someone, it is." Botan agreed. "I think you should get up now Mr. Hiei. It isn't nap hour, it isn't." Hiei rose, a firm grip on his katana was enough to make Jin cease the sarcastic commentary.  
  


"Time: 11:00 PM. Location: The Mall. Three contestants, trapped in a city mall past closing time. Innocent? I THINK NOT. For what unspeakable horrors shall they encounter? What lies hidden in the darkness? Ah, it is the fear of the unknown that these three intrepid heroes face. Will they escape? What dangers WILL they encounter? Find out tonight, on…STRANDED." Jin cocked an eyebrow. "Methinks you've been watching a wee bit too many reality shows, lassie." Hiei had smartly acquired earplugs at the convenience store and was currently dead to the world. (That lasted about .5 seconds) Botan rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Heh, sorry about that."  
  


"I'm voting you off the island, onna," Hiei said in monotone. "You freaks better follow if you don't REALLY want to become '_stranded_'." Both Jin and Botan shook their heads and tagged along by Hiei. "Since when do we have to take orders from 3 eyes over here?!" "I heard that, baka… 'METHINKS' thou doth protest too much so you better shut up before I lose it." It was obvious that Hiei did in fact lose it already, but just decided to keep his temper in check and under wraps. Suddenly, Hiei jumped in surprise and gradually came to a halt, his cronies left confused and without a reasonable explanation. "Something's inside…that store. Don't move, baka yarou…" Hiei growled at Jin. "You too, ferry girl…"  
  


Hiei crept cautiously into the store, one hand once again on his katana. The store itself wasn't anything special; just shelves of glass jars filled with various human sweets. He ignored his surroundings and focused only on the utterly BIZARRE energy signature he was picking up. He never even saw it coming. One minute he was standing there, the next, he was on the ground with a high, playful voice screaming out, "BOO!" He hastily shoved away his attacker and whipped out his katana-and found himself staring at a little girl. She looked around eight or ten, with enormous blue eyes and incredibly long silver hair. She wore only a white nightgown, and on her forehead was a crescent moon. She blinked at his sword. "Cabbit doesn't think the scary boy liked Cabbit's joke." "What the HELL are you?!" he blurted out, still slightly frazzled. "Cabbit is Cabbit," she said simply, before latching on to him. "Scary boy LIKES Cabbit, right?!"  
  


"You're on something," Hiei said sourly. "Cabbit is--WAS on you, Cabbit is right, right?" Jin looked down and rolled his eyes. "Kami-sama, what a headache I'm going to get from this chick… Agreed, Botan-dono?" She nodded without hesitation. "Cabbit knows of 'nother boy here too, Cabbit does!" "What the hell is this? 'Get locked in a mall' hour?" Hiei said, folding his arms. "Alright, shoujo, lead us there then. You can at least make yourself useful…unlike these blundering fools right behind me…" Cabbit giggled in response.  
  


"Whoosh!" she said, for no good reason, pointing down the hallway. "He was down THERE." "FINE. Whatever. Do you plan on being a useful gaki or not, shoujo?" Hiei snapped. Cabbit hesitated for a moment. "Can you keep up with Cabbit?" The other three exchanged a cynical glance, then nodded to humor the little girl. Cabbit shrugged. "'Kay then. Usually Cabbit's friends have trouble keeping up with me." "And why would that-be?" Botan said, blinking with confusion when the little girl suddenly vanished and reappeared halfway down the hallway. "Um. She's really fast." Hiei looked vaguely intrigued, then pulled a similar trick to Cabbit's. Jin floated up a few feet in the air, and Botan whipped out her oar.  
  


They were all able to catch up with Cabbit fairly easily, seeing how she was very young and inexperienced. "Take us there," Hiei commanded. Cabbit pointed angrily to her right. Apparently, they were already THERE. "Hn…" the koorime muttered in embarrassment. "Well there's no use just standing here, let's go in!" Botan screeched in Hiei's ear and grabbed his shoulders. "Back off, onna! Just because you're excited about this mystery fool joining our pathetic excuse for a troupe doesn't mean that you get to touch me." Everyone rolled their eyes at the two and went inside. From the looks of it, the place that they had decided to explore looked to be a toy store. "Great, the stupidity of ningen youth all around us," Hiei muttered. "To be young is good, strange boy. Cabbit is!" Jin smiled and walked off in the video game area. "Who are you?" He questioned almost immediately as he caught sight of a masculine silhouette. The person turned around from the video game and locked eyes with Jin. Laughter ensued. "Wahahaha! I had no clue it was freak hour, carrot top! What, you lost or something?!" Jin cocked an eyebrow. "I've had enough of your wisecracks, I have! What's your name?" "Tasekano Youko…"  


Youko tilted his head to the side. "And your name is…" "Jin." "Jin…what?" Jin shrugged. "Jin. Just Jin. Jinny Jin Jin and no more than Jin!" Youko sweatdropped slightly. "Yay. My only company is an escapee from the Irish insane asylum." Just then, Cabbit came bounding up, with everyone else in tow. "Cabbit TOLD you there was a boy here!" she announced triumphantly. Hiei just rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Youko stared.

"What's that supposed to be?" Youko asked, pointing at Hiei's head of hair. Hiei grunted in annoyance and 'harumphed' outside of the store. "Well at least I'm not stuck playing video games in there anymore," Youko said to himself. His chocolate colored eyes wandered at every one of his companions and they just managed to fall on Botan. "And…you are?" he said with a smirk.

"Botan!" she announced happily, pointing to herself with a smile. Youko nodded thoughtfully. "Ah. So we are the cult of the single-named nutcases. That's cool. How'd YOU get stuck in here?" Botan laughed nervously. "Well…um…" "She spent five hours staring at plushies in some unknown store," Hiei cut in, with a scornful glare at the ferry girl. "Stood so still while she was drooling that the store owners forgot she was there. I had to hack open the locked gate with my katana." "Y'know, under normal circumstances I'd ask WHY exactly you have a katana…"

"No comment," Hiei replied. His ruby orbs turned to the left and he noticed that Jin was giving Cabbit a piggyback ride, and was also walking way from the group. "Looks like your group thing is coming apart at the seams, onna." Hiei pointed and Botan immediately shouted for Jin and Cabbit to come back. No response. "Huh, well I guess that we'll all end up meeting together…at the end…eventually…yeah," she muttered and then turned to face Youko. "Youko, since we'll be trying to get out of here…you, Hiei, and me, it'd be best to avoid this sadistic jerk." "Oh, I truly resent that, ferry girl," Hiei said sarcastically. "This is classic!" Youko said. "You guys are fighting like you're going out or something!" Botan blushed.

"More like the opposite," she mumbled. Youko's expression shifted to vaguely sympathetic. "Oh, so you just broke up?" "No!" snapped out Hiei. "I'm obligated to stick with this baka onna whether I like it or not." "…Why?" "Just. Don't. Ask." Hiei stalked off in the direction of the food court. Youko and Botan exchanged a glance. "He always this moody?" "You have NO idea." The trio seated themselves at a table a few minutes later. "So…is there ANY way we're getting out of this place?" Youko asked finally. Hiei smirked evilly. "I have an idea…" "Hiei, there is NO WAY you are LEVELING this mall with your Kokuryuha!" Botan shouted.

"W—What?!" Youko blurted out, eyes wide. "Never mind, Youko-kun," Botan waved a hand. "Oh man, I'm starving," Youko muttered. "Hn…yes, I guess even I can relate…" Hiei said aloud, brandishing his trusty katana. "Botan…" Hiei began. "Once I break into the kitchen, make us something good." Botan crossed her arms and looked away. As if she would really have a choice. If she said no, his katana would be pressed against her neck in less than three seconds flat. "I'll help you if you want, Botan," Youko volunteered. Both Hiei and Botan's eyes widened. "Shounen, YOU have some expertise in the kitchen?" He nodded. "Huh, she doesn't care. She'd cook for both of us if she knew what was good for her," Hiei whispered into Youko's ear. "Hey, are you sure you don't need help, Botan?" She smiled politely and shook her head. "Go ahead Hiei, cut the bars so I can wait on you hand and foot." He landed from a rather quick jump and in no time at all the bars were cut and Youko's mouth gaped. "Be right back boys. Try to keep the loss of blood to a minimum." She walked into the kitchen and scrunched up her face. "He'll be sorry that he forced me into this! This'll be one hell of a meal that my darling koorime shall never forget!" Botan cackled evilly.

A/N: SO did you like it?! I found it humorous….and this is what happens at night when you have nothing else to do, you just write like a madman and what do you know? Creating a half decent fanfiction actually works! Tell us how you liked it!!!

Oh and by the by, **Tasekano Youko** DOES belong to Son Christine and since I am half of THIS penname, he may be used with us. Do not flip out if you see him being used by 'The Jagans.' Even so, isn't Youko the cutest thing ever?! Aww! 

Ja ne! Review minna-chan! 


	2. Hiei gone Wild

Botan stared into the refrigerator and stroked an imaginary goatee. "Where TO begin?" she mused. She spotted some hamburger meat in the far back. "Well, why the heck not?" She retrieved the meat, a pan, and some spices, then, as an afterthought, a bottle of vodka. A few minutes later, six decently sized hamburgers were sizzling on the stove. Botan winced as some of the grease spat out and landed on her shirt. "I SO should have an apron or something. This sucks."

Botan walked over and grabbed some more hamburger meat. Surely Youko didn't deserve to gorge the disgusting concoctions that she was about to whip up for Hiei. Of course he didn't. "Okay, even though I'm gonna be a mess when this is all over and done with, that STUPID koorime is gonna regret what he made me do in this hardly renovated little dump called a kitchen!!!" Botan screamed at the top of her lungs. Meanwhile, Youko and Hiei could hear what Botan was saying and in unison, they sweatdropped. "Leave it to a baka airhead to reveal her somewhat cunning little plan to us, wouldn't you agree shounen," Hiei questioned as he lightly nudged Youko, who at the time, couldn't believe that Botan could change her personality from one minute to the next. "Hey, flame guy," Youko whispered (He was actually referring to the youkai's hair do). Hiei grunted as to what he was being called by a teenager. "Is she schizophrenic?" Even Hiei didn't know the answer to that one but even he wouldn't put it past the ferry girl.

Youko spent a few moments speculating. "Hey...do you have gender issues or did I hear wrong?" "WHAT?!" Hiei yelled angrily. "WHAT the HELL is THAT supposed to mean?!" Unbeknownst to Youko, a dark aura was beginning to form around the little fire demon's right arm. "I thought she called you a 'koorime'...unless I'm mistaken, doesn't that mean 'ice maiden'?" Hiei blinked as this sudden revelation sunk in. "...You heard wrong..." he finally informed the teen sulkily. Youko blew a sigh of relief. "Oh. Good. VERY good. I got scared for a moment there. Hey, after what Botan said, do you REALLY think you should eat anything she gives you?" "The baka onna is too scared to really do anything to me," Hiei told him confidently. "And if she HAS done something, she'll pay for it later. And she knows it." Youko sweatdropped slightly. "Yeah, if YOU live that long. The girl sounded out for blood. I'D worry if I were you." "Hn. Good thing you're not, then, ne?" "Can't say I didn't warn you..."

"Okay boys!" Botan said professionally, waltzing out with two trays balanced on two flat palms. Youko arched an eyebrow, for he was aware that indigestion might be the result of her evening concoction. "Who's ready to gorge some…grub!" Hiei came forward and stared at it with his three eyes. "Onna, I am warning you…if you did anything even remotely disturbing to my meal, so help me…" "Oh relax, Hiei!" Botan said, shoving his plate in front of his face. "Enjoy it! It's not everyday that you get to have something prepared for you by death herself!" She put her free hand behind her head and started to laugh, unaware that Youko was there and taking her comment to a whole different level. "By death. You hear that, flame guy?" "It's…Hiei…" The fire youkai said in a short breath. "Right…well, you heard it yourself! She's prepared a meal of _death_ for you!" Hiei snorted due to Youko's foolishness. He had no idea that Botan WAS in fact death. However, there was no way that even Hiei was going to absorb himself into a painfully confusing explanation to Youko. He had decided to ignore it.

Botan waltzed off again, in the direction of the kitchen. As much as she wanted to watch her moment of triumph, the boys weren't the only ones who were hungry. She'd run out of hamburger meat, so she spent a few minutes searching leisurely through the fridge, keeping her ears open for any signs that her favorite obnoxious Jaganshi had experienced a few 'side effects' from his meal. There was nothing for the moment, so she finally gave up on looking and made herself a simple BLT. She took a few bites of the sandwich to calm herself down, then walked back out to where the boys were eating. And stopped dead. "Well, maybe leaving them alone was a bad idea after all," she said to herself, eyes wide.

"Get along little doggie! Wahahahaha!" Hiei screamed as he jumped onto a lone random table, waving his meat patty in the air. Botan grinned. She knew that her plan had succeeded. "Hey pretty lady!" He screamed again, pointing directly at the fickle ferry girl herself. "Who…me?" "Who else?! This pathetic _ningen_ over here? Come here!" Botan shrugged. How was she supposed to know what Hiei was talking about? Usually, she just barely tries to hang on for dear life whenever she gets paired up with the ferocious youkai, usually during a small errand for Koenma. "Maybe I overdid the revenge thing a little…" Botan murmured to herself as she went closer to Hiei, a part of her very afraid.

Hiei yanked her up onto the table and muttered something in gibberish, or at least something that Botan couldn't really understand in the least bit. "You know that your hair is blue right? Well…" Hiei said as he motioned for her to come closer so that he could whisper something in her ear. "I'd be careful if I were you…" Youko said as he rubbed his temples, obviously aware of the lack of sobriety in his newfound acquaintance, Hiei. "You never know what a freak like him could do with a little bit of booze." Botan gulped. She knew that Youko was absolutely correct. Yes. Hiei WAS a tad bit frightening. And this was when he was just stern and upfront. So just add an alcoholic beverage into the equation. Good…NO wait! Bad! "This'll only make him scary-obsessive, Botan so I'd watch your back if I were you!" Youko hollered again, an eyebrow skeptically raised all the while.

Throughout that little exchange, Hiei had been inching closer and closer to Botan without her knowing. In fact, by the time she finished talking to Youko, he was right up in her face. She could even smell the alcohol on his breath, and winced mentally. 'Okay, I guess that was overkill after all.' He stared almost meaningfully into her eyes. The expression on his face was so completely different from his normal behavior that it began to make her wonder...what exactly WAS he capable when drunk? "Um, Hiei? Uh...you're invading my personal space. Could you just maybe, y'know, move back a few ste--mmph!" Without further ado, the fire demon leaned in and kissed her. Botan's eyes went wide and she lost her balance, making them both fall off the table and crash rather ungracefully to the ground. 'Omgomgomgomgomg, we are BOTH sooooooo going to regret this when he sobers up. Although...nope. We are definitely both going to regret this... WAITAMINUTE!!!! Where'd Youko go?!' She shoved Hiei off her and cast around for Youko--only to be met with the lens of a video camera. Youko smirked. "I'm sorry, but you can't say I didn't warn you he'd do something...and it was just SUCH a Kodak moment."

"Give it back!" Botan screeched at the top of her lungs as she lunged forward, trying ever so desperately to grab the camera that Youko just so happened to have on him. "No way! I knew that somethin' was gonna happen once you put all that junk in Hiei's food! Now you're gonna have to pay the price for it!" Botan gave him the evil eye and prepared herself for yet another pouncing lesson. "Forget about it! There's no way that you can ever get this camera out of my iron grip!!" Youko laughed triumphantly, his ego swelling three times its normal size, Botan just watching on in sheer awe. "Come on…you know that once Hiei is back to his regular, hate-loving self, he'll kill you for it!" She announced perkily. Youko looked over at Hiei, sitting innocently on the floor behind them. "I think not…and anyway, he can't hold his alcohol very well so if I keep giving it to him, he'll never have the chance to kill me, huh?" Botan sweatdropped. She was INDEED trapped and stranded in a mall with two maniacs, no way to get out but to accept that she was partnered up with an arrogant teenager and a bad fire demon gone desperate. "You should go back and keep Hiei company, Botan…looks like I've got 2 more hours of film left!"

Botan seriously considered strangling him for a moment. (Un)Fortunately, Hiei had decided to mosey on down to where the pair of them were and announced solemnly, "Botan, I have something to tell you." Both the ferry girl and the teenager cocked an eyebrow and stared at him. "Uh...yes Hiei?" Botan said, praying that he wouldn't do anything rash...again. He stared at her blankly. "What?" Botan blinked. "You had something to tell me?" "Did I really?" Hiei asked vaguely. "Well, I don't remember what it is. Ohhhhhh well." He began to wander off again, but got no more than ten paces before tripping over his own feet and ending up on the floor. And Youko...was still filming the whole operation. "Y'know, Botan, you gotta admit--he's a LOT more entertaining this way." She just groaned. 'I am sooooo dead. Genkai's gonna kill me, Koenma's gonna kill me, Mukuro is gonna kill me, Kurama MIGHT kill me, and Hiei--' She paused a moment here. 'Maybe Youko's right. Maybe we can just keep him drunk the entire time.' It was then that she began hearing faint strains of music. "_Kaze ga hashiru…ore wo yobu mugon no hariken…_" 'Uhhh…is Hiei actually _singing_?' "_Are wa sain… kessen no aizu darou…_" 'Yes. I think he is. Wow. And he's even in tune. Amazing.'

"Hmm…I barely remember that song…" Youko said as he sat down at a table and rested his head on his right palm. "Oh…right…my girlfriend…erm…FRIEND bought me this CD for my birthday and that song was on it…I think it was called Wild Wind!" Botan squeaked in excitement, as she knew that Youko had nailed it. She had loved that song and suddenly had the urge to sing the next line or two… "_Sou kono inochi yori aa omoi yume wo kanaeru tame no hi ga kita saa…_" Botan began as she jumped to her feet, pretending that she was suddenly in a karaoke bar. Hiei glanced over at her as soon as he heard those lyrics from his blue haired comrade. "Botan, you know the song too?" He walked over to her shakily and grinned a Yusuke grin. "I KNEW that someone else knew it!" Hiei hollered as he grabbed her waist and sang the next verse, his cheeks still tinted a rosy pink. "_Kokoro no mama ni tada Fighting to dream…dare ni mo jama sasenai unmei nado jibun de kimete yaru kaze no you ni tada Shooting to dream…kako no itami tachikitte kono te de ima mirai mo kimete yaru…Getta chance!_" He struck a pose after singing perfectly, Youko rolling on the floor in sheer laughter. The only thing was, Botan couldn't laugh, she was stuck at Hiei's side and he had no intention of letting her go…the video camera still rolling away.

So the ferry girl just stood there, beet red, with her head hanging down as the rather wasted jaganshi continued to sing the next few verses. "_Kizudarake no yume ga ore wo karitateta hieta mune ni nokoru hi wo aoru you ni..."_ Botan flatly refused to sing the other half of the duet, which would have ended the song--if not for Youko, who suddenly burst into song as well, an evil smirk on his face. "_Sou atsui omoi ga aa mune wo tataku maru de kienai arashi no you ni..." _Hiei suddenly grabbed Botan's hand and actually began to dance along with her to the chorus._ "Yasei no mama de ima Fighting to dream...zetsubou nado houmuttekemono michi wo hageshiku hitabashirukaze ni natte ima Shooting to dream...hoshii mono wa jiyuu saoretachi kono kokoro wa damasenai...It's truth!"_ Unfortunately for the both of them, he was still offbalance, and proceeded to trip over his own feet again, landing them in a heap and stopping the singing. At least, Botan _thought_ he tripped over his own feet, until she looked down--and found that the fire demon was now fast asleep. She sighed with relief. Well, that was one problem taken care of. Of course, there was just one slight complication... "Youko...will you help get him off me?"

"Hey come on now, he's YOUR weird friend. And you may as well let him stay there…he looks awfully cozy, doesn't he?" Youko grinned as he brushed the chestnut bangs out of his face. Quite the bishounen, actually. "Please? Youko!!! Come on! If it weren't for Hiei and I, you would still be in the video game store with absolutely nothing to do!" "Au contraire, my fine blue-haired lass, I had plenty of entertainment enclosed in those four walls. It was just a coincidence that you just happened to show up with some girl who spoke in the third person all the time." Botan agreed and shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't argue about Cabbit's third person tendency. And all Youko did was take another bite of his food, he hadn't finished it completely. "Sure, Youko…you at least had a point when you said that Hiei looked comfortable…at least he's not gonna kill me right now, huh?" Hiei was a total lead weight when he slept. You would think that his third eye was actually good for something or another but not when he was dead asleep. "I think that we ought to get going now." Botan announced, Youko rushing back only to sling the weary youkai over his broad shoulder.

A/N: Did you like? Hmm? A little bit of romance there! Please review minna-chan!

Son Christine Kinaka Capri = insanity....


	3. You suck ee?

A/N: Yay! New month! New chapter! New insanity! Please enjoy chapter 3!  
  
Botan turned questioningly to Youko. "So, where do you think Cabbit and Jin ended up, anyway?" The teen gave an indifferent shrug. "Who knows? Do you remember which way they went?" Botan scanned the area quickly and pointed left. "That way...I think." "Good a place as any to start," Youko said, adjusting his hold on the unconscious Hiei and strolling off in that direction. The ferry girl gave a sigh of relief. Youko wasn't so bad after all. Now that he wasn't sniping with Hiei anymore, he was downright agreeable. Not to mention, he'd shut off the video camera after Hiei fainted, which was a definite plus. "So," she chirruped cheerfully. "Where are you from?" "Oh, somewhere in Osaka," Youko replied vaguely. "You?" Botan sweatdropped. "Uhhh, not anywhere around here," she smiled nervously. "It's...very far away." Unfortunately, any kinds of pleasantries were interrupted when Hiei suddenly decided to wake up. He tilted his head up and stared sleepily at Botan. "You know I've alwaysh looooooved you, right?" he slurred. Apparently, his alcohol tolerance was even lower than they thought.  
  
"Koenma-sama, help me!" Botan squealed mutely. Hiei tried to lunge forward and grab the ferry girl's beautiful blue hair. Unfortunately he had missed, due to the fact that Youko grabbed him first by the waist and held him upside down. "Now listen up you...you...thing or whatever you are..." Youko said with an arched eyebrow. "You can't keep trying to fondle Botan...it isn't nice." "It isn't?" The fire demon replied, his speech still slurred. "No it isn't. Now if I set you down here will you be a good little...thing...and behave yourself?" Hiei nodded without a fraction of hesitation, obviously he hadn't heard a word that Youko said. It went in one ear and out the other. But the one thing that the koorime did know was that Youko was really starting to get on his last nerve...for no reason at all. "Okay...I'm going to put you down now." The teenager said slowly as he did just that. The only thing that he didn't see coming was the way that Hiei came lunging forward and kicked him in the shins.  
  
"OW!!!" screeched Youko, hopping around on one foot and cursing in every language he knew. Botan cocked her head to the side questioningly. "Uh...Youko? You DO know that 'hola' only means 'hello', right?" ...And several that he didn't. Hiei had decided that he was done getting his revenge, and was currently sitting in a corner enjoying the spectacle with a bag of popcorn. Conveniently, the store in the corner was indeed none other than a popcorn store. Unfortunately, having every kind of popcorn under the sun isn't necessarily a good thing. You see, Hiei had very coincidently grabbed rum-flavored popcorn. Supposedly it was the first bag he could get his hands on. Either that, or he decided permanent intoxication was actually incredibly fun. But in either case, it didn't look like he was going to sober up any time soon. Meanwhile, Botan was beginning to wonder what exactly she had done to deserve this situation. Other than a few harmless practical jokes, she couldn't really think of anything. It was downright unfair.  
  
"I think that we should get flame boy away from the goods before he takes full advantage of this drunk thing..." Youko said as he shut his eyes. "I mean, it's high time that we find a way out of this place. All we've been doing is going around in circles, trying to embarrass the other one!" He instantaneously hid his video camera behind his back, trying to not be the obvious hypocrite. "Well then Youko-kun...We should really find someone that can either take care of Hiei's rather..." She paused and looked down at him. He was trying to lick his elbow. "...his rather...disturbing drunken state. If we can do that, then we'll have a clear head and can probably find a way out of here before I have a panic attack. Oh if only Yuusuke were here right now..." She muttered. "Who's Yuusuke?" The teen boy replied. "Trust me...you don't want to know."  
  
Youko frowned. "I think you're right...I probably don't." He looked back down at Hiei, who had ceased his...interesting activities and was now staring right back at him, still obviously in a drunken stupor. Botan shook her head. "Of all the people to have a low alcohol tolerance," she muttered under her breath. "Geez, didn't the guy ever touch a drop in Makai?" "Maaaaany," slurred Hiei, overhearing her. "Buuuuuuuuut, I guess that they make it stronger here, huh? Y'know, the differ'nt plants and all." Youko cocked an eyebrow. Botan just smiled nervously. "Uhhh, yeah, sure," she agreed cheerfully. "Now let's get going, shall we?" She cocked her head questioningly at the Jaganshi. "You're still coordinated enough to walk, I hope." He giggled insanely. "'Coord'nadiddydid. That's a funny word." She sweatdropped. "Youko, if you would be so kind..." she pleaded, gesturing from the teen to the youkai.  
  
In no time at all, Hiei was draped over Youko's shoulder, still giggling about the word, 'coordinated.' Not a word was said as they continued on; there was bitter silence and the occasional feminine giggle of Hiei that abruptly made its way out of his throat. The adolescent suddenly stopped. "Hey, Botan...do you know that guy?" Youko breathed. It was dark but he could definitely make something out...a masculine silhouette. Youko pointed straight ahead at a man who seemed to be in the nearby craft store. "Youko- kun, I think that we should be on guard. You DO know martial arts, right?" "Relax, babe. I'm pretty tough so don't worry about it," Youko bragged as he brushed the bangs out of his eyes with his free hand. It was dark outside so he couldn't really see who the man was. "Should we just run passed him or should we ask him what he knows? Maybe he could help us escape..." Botan said as she looked around nervously. Since the wasted Jaganshi would prove of no assistance in combat for the time being, she had to rely on ningen wit instead. That wasn't really a strong suit to begin with. "I'll go check..." Youko whispered as he walked up forward and entered the craft store.  
  
The 'courageous' brunette slunk cautiously toward the shadowy figure, holding a recently found pool noodle in his hands (the camera was too precious for that kind of use). He darted in close, tapped the figure on the shoulder, and, when nerves got the best of him, whacked the figure in the back of the head before it could react. CRUNCH. The sound of tearing cardboard could be heard throughout the empty store. Youko sweatdropped and stared down at the (now headless) image of Legolas from the Lord of the Rings. "Whoops...uh, I can pay for that...I think..." Back at the entrance, Botan smacked herself in the head. "I am never getting out of here, am I?" she muttered to herself. "Nope!" Hiei informed her cheerfully. "Corndog?" he added innocently, holding one up to the ferry girl. "No thank you, I really think you've done enough for one day--hey, where on earth did you get that from?" Botan asked him suspiciously. He gave her a cherubic smile (and man, did it look freaky on his face) and shrugged. "Places."  
  
"Forget it man, we're STUCK here until the rats either eat us or until Hiei kills us with his infested corndog!" "Hey! MY corndog!" He snapped back, protectively hugging it. (That lasted for about three seconds when he suddenly took a bite out of it). "Okay...um...think..." Youko said as he paced the floor, keeping his eyes transfixed on the floor. "How 'bout we...burn a hole through the windows or ceiling using this guy's weird powers." Botan huffed. "How 'bout we don't!" She cried out, aware that if they broke anything in Ningenkai, it would be her head on the table. "Okay then..." Youko muttered. "If Jin and Cabbit could get out, then so could we. Um...let's disguise ourselves as something." "Oooh...disguises..." Hiei mused as he looked down at his morbid black outfit. "I wanna have her blouse first..." He continued to babble. Youko arched an eyebrow, knowing that his idea was about to go out the window. "Forget it. I don't want to make you a transvestite. So...um...hey Botan, do YOU have any weird powers that could get us outta here?" Botan jumped in surprise. Uh oh. Great. She was with a stubborn know-it-all teenager...who DID actually look quite cute but that wasn't even the point. "Actually...Youko..." Botan started.  
  
Youko raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes...?" She couldn't believe it. WHY HADN'T SHE THOUGHT OF THIS SOONER?!!! Like, some time before Hiei had gotten wasted right out of his typical personality. But oh well. At least she'd thought of it now. Botan grinned at Youko. "Um...I'll be back in five!" She ran off. Youko stared. "O...kay... That was weird." "Botan's veeeeeeeery veeeeeeeeery weird," Hiei said in a singsong sort of voice. "Aaaaaand, she always waaaaaaas and always will be." The teen just shook his head. "Are you sure it's the alcohol that's doing this to you? Cause this is the strangest reaction to booze I have ever seen in my life." Meanwhile, Botan made sure she was out of earshot and flipped open her Communication Mirror. "Koenma-sama! Koenma-sama, please answer!" The toddler's face flickered on to the screen. "Botan? Is that you? What are you still doing at the mall?! It's past midnight! Didn't that place close by now?" Botan giggled and rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Well, Koenma-sama, it was the darndest thing..." The Reikai prince just rolled his eyes and held up a hand. "Please. Spare me." He frowned suddenly, looking anxious. "Hiei hasn't been doing anything...illegal, has he? I mean, you know how he gets, and you actually dragged him to the MALL, of all places." The ferry girl squeaked slightly. "No, he's actually been pretty, um, good. Well, let's just say, errr, well, Hiei's not exactly feeling himself right now, Koenma-sama." Koenma shook his head. "I do not want to know," he stated flatly.  
  
"Well anyway, sir...I was...erm...I mean...we are you know in the mall because...we're kind of stuck here." "STUCK?!" The prince's reaction was something that made Botan jump in fright. "How could you be stuck with a delinquent Jaganshi in a ningen mall after hours? You know Botan, you never cease to amaze me." She laughed nervously. "I...uh...aim to please?" The ferry girl knew that that was lame but still decided to speak with the angry Koenma. "Well now that I've told you, what am I supposed to do? This is SO not good, Koenma-sama!" "Yes you have yourself in quite a pickle but maybe I can be of some assistance. That is...until you provide generous compensation for my heroic little number in return." Botan let her shoulders drop. Koenma really WAS hard to please. "What exactly did you have in mind?" Koenma smirked. "You have to convince Hiei to be my personal slave for a week at most." Botan suddenly felt that a heavy burden was lifted off of her shoulders. With his drunken state in full swing, she could get him to do just about anything! "It's a deal, Koenma-sama."  
  
Koenma raised an eyebrow. "Well, that was easy." The chipper ferry girl grinned. "You have no idea." 'Heh, what Koenma doesn't know won't hurt him, and will get me out of this mall! THANK YOU YOUKO!!!!!' Her eyes went wide. 'Crap. Youko.' She turned back to the communicator, where Koenma thankfully had not yet hung up. "Uhm...Koenma-sama, there's one teeeeeny tiny thing I forgot to mention." He eyed her warily. "Yes, Botan?" "Well, you see, when we got stuck in this mall, we kinda weren't alone, and y'see, there's this boy here with us--" "Oh, no you don't," Koenma warned, shaking his head. "You know our policy about mortals finding out about Reikai! Does this guy even have a sixth sense?!" "Kindasortanotreally," Botan muttered. Koenma's eyes narrowed. "Botan, I'm sorry. You know the rules." "But--but, the snow! And the mall! And the snow!!!! We can't just leave him here! He'll go insane! And if there's one thing I know, it's that Reikai's got enough loonies to deal with. Pleeeeease Koenma-sama? I'll do anything PLUS the thing with Hiei!" The Reikai prince frowned in thought. "Well...I guess we could...after all, Hiei could just use his Jagan and make the kid forget everything. But the bit about Hiei still goes." "Not a problem, sir!" Botan announced cheerfully, giving him a salute and flipping off the communicator. She stood up, in a much better mood than she had started out in. 'Now...let's just hope that alcohol hasn't worn off yet!'  
  
"GET OFF ME!" Youko screamed. He was, at the moment, having a veeery difficult time keeping the fire demon under control. Hiei was actually trying to climb up Youko's shoulders for some random reason. "Botan! Help!!" He shrieked again, not knowing if he could take the Jaganshi's rather interesting behavior for much longer. She came back as fast as she could as soon as she heard Youko's desperate plea for assistance. "Hiei! Stop that!" Botan cried as she crossed her arms. "Botan!" He purred happily, lunging for her instead. She rolled her eyes and hardly expected the koorime to knock her over and fall into her lap. "You're preeeeettyyyyyyyy..." He slurred. The alcohol had not worn off in the tiniest bit. "Um, Hiei...why don't you be a good boy and keep it cool for now so that you won't come after me with your katana when you sober up..." She said nervously as Hiei looked as if he wanted to kiss her again or something. "Kaaaataana? You mean this?" He said as he pointed to the sword on his belt. "Yes Hiei that is precisely it." He nodded and then cuddled up in her lap. She screamed and then realized that it would be very difficult to get the youkai to agree to Koenma's terms while in a stupor.  
  
"I'm gonna go to sleep now," Hiei muttered, not moving from Botan's lap. "The HELL you are!" she blurted out. In the meantime, Youko's camera was back and rolling once more. Botan noticed this and quickly shoved Hiei off. The little youkai looked vaguely forlorn, but at this point in time, Botan was slowly but surely losing her patience. She glared black death at Youko. "I'm going to give you until the count of ten to turn that off and hand it over," she said in a calm, almost menacing voice. "One...TEN!!! HAND IT OVER!!!!" Without further ado, she launched herself at the unsuspecting (well, not really) teenager, knocking him to the ground. They spent a few moments fighting over the camera when suddenly... "Well, this is new," came a familiar, amused voice. "HI YOU-SUCK-EE!!!!" screamed Hiei, his former exhaustion forgotten (if there was even really any to begin with). The Reikai Tantei blinked. "Kami-sama, Botan, what did you do to him?" She sweatdropped. "Uhm, well...it's a very interesting story, really...and quite long...and complicated..." "He was being a jerk and she spiked his food as revenge," Youko cut in. "Apparently he doesn't take well to alcohol" He paused for a moment. "Hey...wait a minute. Who are you, how do you know them, and when did you get in here?" The ex-delinquent grinned. "Urameshi Yusuke, friends of mine, and a few minutes ago. I'm kind of here to get you out." Botan groaned. "Why him, Koenma-sama?" she wailed quietly. Then, to Yusuke, "Uh, how ARE you getting us out of here, anyway?" "Koenma gave me this cool little doo-dah that can allegedly do the trick. Now, where did I put it..." "HEY, LOOK!!! IT'S AERODYNAMIC!!!!" shouted Hiei happily. Botan turned toward him, about to ask how exactly he could still pronounce the word 'aerodynamic', when she noticed the device flying through the air, falling four stories to the ground floor. She gulped. "Uhh, Yusuke...?" she said nervously, pointing to the object. "That wouldn't happen to be it, would it?" All four 'teens' stared in silence as the whatever-it-was smashed unceremoniously next to the closed Hallmark store four floors down. Youko turned to Yusuke. "So, you like fast food."  
  
A/N: Now Yusuke is stuck too. Wonders never cease. Oh well, at least it's always the more the merrier right? And plus, where would we be without our favorite JD? ...Still stuck in the mall, that's where! That and the fact that Hiei...demolished the getaway contraption. Please review! We hope this was an entertaining chapter!  
  
Son Christine and Kinaka Capri = The Jagans 


	4. Mutual Feelings: Don't Count On It

A/N: New chapter! Yay! 4! Whee! Whoo! Err...excited? YEAH! Whee! Enjoy!

"Well this sucks…" Yusuke said. "MAJOR TOGURO BUTT!" Hiei finished in a singsong fashion, giggling all the while. Youko just shook his head, picked up the giddy demon by the waist, draped him over his shoulder, and shrugged. "Looks like you're used to this job. What, did Botan here pay you to watch the little freak or something?" "No I did not, Yusuke! That would just be torture! Plain and simple!" Hiei babbled in the background, wanting desperately his aerodynamic toy. 'And speaking of bribery…I still have that little bargain to keep up with Koenma-sama, don't I?' Botan thought as her shoulders dropped. Oh well. Now was a good a time as any to give it a whirl. "Hey Hiei." The Jaganshi shot his head up and looked alert and ready to listen to Botan…that is if he was capable of doing such. "Can I ask you a favor?" He nodded instantaneously. "You like helping people right? Well I have a fun and exciting thing for you to do for Koenma-sama. If you do it, I'll give you as many of those…cheap aerodynamic thingies …as you want!" Hiei's eyes grew wide and shone with glee and delight. "Really Botan? Yooooooou'd do that?!" He said as he tried to struggle out of Youko's hold. "All you have to do is do whatever Koenma says for a week. If you can do that, then I promise to give you the toys." He nodded like a good little fire demon. "Um…Botan…did you spike your own food or what? You're acting a lot ditzier than usual…" Yusuke announced, holding up an index finger. Botan rolled her eyes. "Trust me…you have NO idea…"

"By golly you're right!" Yusuke exclaimed. "...And I don't want to know." Botan raised an eyebrow. "Yusuke, that's the first smart thing you've said in like...ever." "Love you too, Botan," he said sarcastically. "I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!" Hiei chimed in. Yusuke, Youko, and Botan exchanged a worried, three-way glance. "Well, that explains why he never drank with the rest of us..." Yusuke mumbled under his breath. "Although...this will be entertaining during parties..." "Don't you even THINK about it, Yusuke!" Botan warned. "Try any such thing and YOU get to deal with him on a hangover!!!" He gulped. "Okay...never mind." He turned to Youko instead. "So...you come here often?" Youko shrugged. "Only for the games. I only got stuck in here because the announcement system wasn't working at the arcade, and for some reason they never bothered to turn the power off...weirdos." "Amen. What games you play?"

"Soul Calibur, Zelda…man that kicks ass, um…other stuff because honestly, school sucks." Yusuke's eyes lit up. "A FELLOW JD!!" Youko raised an eyebrow. "Actually, I'm pretty damn smart if I do say so myself. I GO to school…but that doesn't mean I like it." Yusuke's joy went down in an instant. "It looks like no one is a slack off like you, Yusuke…" Botan said as she folded her arms. "Shut up…" Yusuke mumbled. "EVERYONE CAN SPEAK!" Hiei chimed in again, trying to braid his white bandana while wearing it at the same time. "Wow…this…is…fun…" Yusuke admitted drearily as he looked down four floors. "Well what I did is of absolutely NO use to your troupe of weirdos so I think I'm gonna get outta here…" "And how are you gonna do that?" Youko cried out. "Easy! I'm gonna go…and…you know…open…CRAP…" Yusuke stomped his foot on the ground. "INTERPRETIVE DANCE?!" Hiei said again as he hurled himself off of Youko's shoulder and onto the floor where he began to stomp his feet on the floor, mimicking Yusuke's original foot motion. "Whoa…I didn't know that I had a friend that could river dance…" Yusuke muttered under his breath.

"Uhhhh, Yusuke? I seriously doubt Hiei knows what river dance IS," Botan pointed out. He shrugged nonchalantly. "Meh, whatever. Anyone got any popcorn?" Youko and Botan pointed simultaneously at the popcorn store Hiei had found mere moments ago. Yusuke's eyes lit up. "Geee, thanks. Popcorn and entertainment. Gotta love it. Hey, do either of you want any?" "Thanks, I'm good," Youko told him absently, searching around for a record store and boom box in order to test whether or not Hiei could, in fact, Irish step-dance. Sure, he'd only known these people for a few hours (Yusuke for about five minutes), but hey, they were cough interesting and he still had a whole lot of film left. Forget what people said; blackmail was a wonderful thing. "I want aspirin," Botan announced, trooping off toward a convenience store. "I WANT WOOOORLD PEACE!!!!" Hiei exclaimed, doing a surprisingly good back flip and landing in a pile of (not so) conveniently placed cardboard boxes. The other three paused for a moment to stare at the odd spectacle. There was a moment of silence (during which the distinct tune of 'It's a Small World' came from the general direction of the box pile) between the three. Then... "Hey, dude!" Yusuke yelled over to Youko. "Could you lend me a copy of that tape when you're done?" "It's Youko! And sure!" Botan just groaned and renewed her search for a bottle of aspirin.

"Damn, thank Kami that I got this camera for my birthday. It's a gold mine!" He called over to the grinning Yusuke, who was coming back with the rum flavored popcorn that Hiei was so addicted to. Meanwhile, Hiei was still in the heap of boxes, lightly singing in a high-pitched voice. "It's…a world of laughter a world of tears…it's a world of hope and a world of fears…there's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's…a…" Hiei paused and stopped his singing for just a moment as soon as he had laid eyes on the popcorn in Yusuke's left hand. "MY CORN!" Hiei hissed as he leapt from the boxes to the arms of a delusional Yusuke. And once Hiei had tackled Yusuke to the ground did the delinquent freak out. "What the HELL?! Get off me you psycho!" Yusuke cried, holding up his bag of popcorn so that he could salvage that above everything else. He didn't really care about being harassed by the Jaganshi…he just wanted his eats. "You-suck-ee! You stole my food!" Youko pulled out the trusty camera and used it yet again. "Man, I'm reaaaaaaally thinking of entering this thing in for a Oscar." "And it'll win one too…" Botan remarked nonchalantly.

"Gee, ya think?!" Youko asked her excitedly. Botan just smacked herself in the forehead and didn't answer. Oh, it was a sad, sad day when she was the sanest one in the entire group. And the saddest part was, if Cabbit and Jin were still there, it would still be true. Although, where in Reikai's name had those two gone?! Meanwhile, Yusuke had finally tired of Hiei's manic attempts to steal his beloved junk food, and caught the crazed demon by his scarf, dangling him out at arm's length. Then he quickly proceeded to toss him right back into the cardboard box pile from whence he had emerged. "Botan?" the delinquent said solemnly. "As much as I hate to admit it, this is a serious problem. Is there any way to get Happy Doo-Dah over here sober?" She shrugged helplessly, but Youko looked over. "Coffee works really well--I mean, so I've heard, anyway...Of course I'VE never gone drinking MYSELF..." Botan sighed. "But will the normal methods even work on him? Yusuke! You should know! Your mom's a friggin' alcoholic!" For once he looked seriously offended. "Gee...THANKS, Botan. Always payin' a compliment, aren't you?" "I KNOW, ISN'T SHE GREAT?!!!!!!!!!!!" Hiei screamed over, adding his two cents as usual. Yusuke looked over at him with wide eyes, then immediately became serious. Well, as serious as Yusuke can get. "Sorry, Botan. The whole thing about my mom being an alcoholic is that she NEVER gets sober. No help there. Guess we're stuck with the coffee idea, huh?"

"But what about the Irish step dancing thing? I mean, yeah I can make flame boy here do anything! Don't make him sober yet!" Youko said as he pointed to his camera. "Oh, you're right, man! I forgot that I still wanted a copy of that tape!" Yusuke replied with a half-grin on his face. The two teen boys flashed pitying glances in Botan's direction. "Sorry, Botan but just for that insult, I think that we should keep Hiei going a bit more. Yeah, payback is a reeeeal bitch, isn't it?" Hiei started laughing uncontrollably. "HE SAID PAYBACK! YOU-SUCK-EE IS THE FUNNIEST THERE IS!" He then looked in splendor at one of the cardboard boxes. "We should play Noah's adventure! And make it rain for 500 days and 245 nights!" Hiei squealed again as he jumped in a box, pretending with his ever so 'vivid' imagination that he was in a boat. "Yeah…you go ahead and stick to bible stories, while I find that boom box," Youko muttered to himself. He had already (conveniently) found the Irish CD and was only in dire need of the machine to play it. "Yusuke, Botan, I trust you can handle the freak while I'm gone!" Yusuke paused and watched Youko use the non-working escalator to reach floor five. "You heard him, Botan. Looks like we're on guard duty…"

He suddenly spotted the arcade Youko had been found in earlier. Apparently, the power remained on. "Scratch that, YOU'RE on guard duty," he announced, wandering off in the direction of the lights and loud noise. "WHAT?!" Botan screeched, but it was too late. She stared forlornly at Hiei, who had ceased in his cardboard bonanza and was now staring back at her. It was actually kind of creepy. No, it was actually REALLY REALLY creepy. She backed away a little, when the youkai suddenly asked, a little sadly, no less: "Do you hate me?" She stopped and gave him a weird look. "Uh...WHAT?" "Do you hate me?" he repeated. She thought for a moment, and decided that, surprisingly, she did NOT hate him. Of course, that could be because under normal circumstances there was too much fear for any hatred to be squeezed in anywhere, but still. "Er, nope," she told him. His eyes lit up. "So, do you LOVE me?!" he asked excitedly. Botan sweatdropped heavily. "Uhhh......" Hiei suddenly burst into tears. "YOU HATE ME!!!!!! YOU HATE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "NO NO NO!!!!!" the highly stressed ferry girl shouted back in frustration. Unbeknownst to both of them, Youko was still filming the scene despite his own absence--he had hidden the camera in a nearby potted plant.

"Hiei, I don't hate you! Please calm down!" Botan said in between her usual hysterics whenever she had to deal with the Jaganshi. "Hiei…there's no way in Reikai that you're sobered up again…even though you DO look it…" Botan muttered as she still looked ever forlornly at him. "I just wanted to know!" Hiei replied sourly as he made a sort of cute and sort of childish pout. "I don't want you to cry! Um…I'll tell you what…" "You love me?!" Botan raised an eyebrow, wondering why he wanted to know the answer to that question in the first place. "Since we're already here at the mall, I'll go and get you some ice cream! How does that sound, Hiei?" Botan added, trying her very best to comfort the fire demon. "You…you mean…the sweet snow?" Hiei said in a small voice, wiping his eyes and coming closer to Botan. "You'd do that for me?" "Why sure I would!" Botan announced. And just when she thought that Hiei wasn't going to go clinically insane again, a scream from the video game store caused the hardly romantic moment to go up in flames. "HEY! It's WAAAAY too quiet over there! What's going on? You have Hiei in a stranglehold, Botan?!" Yusuke called out like a roaring drunkard. "BOTAN WAS JUST GOING TO TELL ME THAT SHE LOVES ME!" Hiei replied to a certain Yusuke, now stumbling over his own feet, trying very hard to contain his laughter. "Okay, Botan…you'd better not be on something now." "Hardly Yusuke! I can't believe you would take his word over mine!" The delinquent cocked an eyebrow. "Well ya didn't SAY anything to begin with but go on, I won't stand in the way of your ROMANTIC getaway with Hiei in the local mall! Be my guest and by all means, smooch away!" The Reikai Tantei was milking it for all it was worth, while Botan stood there, as beet red as a tomato.

It was then that she heard what had to be the most chilling word of all. "Okay!" Hiei exclaimed, and despite everything, both Yusuke and Botan's jaws dropped in shock. Then Yusuke's mouth twisted into a very VERY amused grin, and Botan slowly began to back away from the fire youkai. "NO!" she shouted, forming the cross with her index fingers. "Stay, boy! C'mon, haven't I gone through ENOUGH humiliation for one night?!" "No, I'd say not," Hiei replied in an oddly conventional tone of voice, giving her a rather evil smirk. Then, using his oh-so-convenient super speed, he proceeded to knock the frazzled ferry girl over and, well, kiss her. Again. 'Kami-sama, why MEEEEEEEEEEEEE????' Surprisingly, Yusuke was not yet dying of laughter, but she gave it thirty seconds before he got over the shock. 'Well, whatever, but he better NOT still be kissing me in thirty seconds!!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!' And, just when she thought things couldn't GET any worse... "Oh, would you look at that! Silly me, just dropping my camera in the bushes like that!" In the corner of her eye, Botan saw, to her great dismay, Youko come meandering up (now equipped with a Boombox) and fish his camera out of a bush that was uncomfortably close to her. To make matters worse, he COMPLETELY ignored her predicament. Well, not completely. He filmed it. Wahoo.

"Clumsy you? Haha! More like Lucky you! That was GENIUS!" Yusuke said, yukking it up. "Hiei! Do it again!" The Jaganshi looked at Botan, smirking evilly. Uh oh. Yeah, she recognized that look. It wasn't his most evil look but FRIGHTENING nonetheless. It was the 'I can do whatever I want' look. What the Jigoku did Botan ever do to deserve something like the torture that she was receiving? Hardly much. "Oh, you know I have the Boombox here so I think all this lovey dovey crap is gonna have to wait…and just in case Hiei's on the verge of making his metamorphosis into hangover-hood, I've got more popcorn," Youko said with a nonchalant smile on his face. "Way to go man!" Yusuke cheered. And all Hiei did was grab the food and began eating in a barbaric manner. Great. At least he wouldn't sober up and kill everyone anytime soon. There was always a plus side wasn't there? "Okay…and now for some real entertainment!" Yusuke whooped as he watched his newfound partner in crime plug in the Boombox in a random outlet and whip out the Irish CD. "Hope they call you Hiei 'Twinkle Toes' Jaganshi…" Botan muttered angrily under her breath.

Both Yusuke and Youko's grins were a mile wide as the mischievous brunette dramatically pushed the 'play' button. But, to their great disappointment (and Botan's equally great relief), instead of riverdance-worthy happy Irish folk tunes, solemn Irish chanties began to play. "Darnit!" Youko snapped, flipping over the CD case and scanning the back quickly. "I KNEW I needed to brush up on my English!" But Hiei, despite failing to perform his interpretation of Lord of the Dance, was listening to the melody in wide-eyed wonder. "Botan, what is that pretty noise?" he whispered quietly. "Oh, I think it's the flute solo or something," Botan replied absently, searching for her long-forgotten bottle of aspirin. "...Flute..." Hiei repeated thoughtfully, sounding out the word. He lept up suddenly. "I WANNA LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE FLUTE!!!!" he announced boldly. This would have been incredibly amusing, except for the fact that he then added, "I am off a'questin'!" and suddenly vanished from sight. The silence lasted for about...oh, three seconds. Then Yusuke asked uncertainly, "Uhhh, this is bad." "Gee, ya think?!" Botan yelled. "KOENMA-SAMA WILL KILL ME FOR THIS!!!!! HELLO, HE JUST GOT BACK ON PROBATION!!!!" "Uh, what are you people talking about...?" Youko tried to interject timidly, but the other two weren't listening. "Okay, okay, it's not like he could be anywhere in the world, he has to be in the mall somewhere, right?" Yusuke muttered distractedly, pacing around. Botan stomped her foot on the ground. "Oh, if only we had someone here who really KNEW him! Like...like...KURAMA or something!" Yusuke snapped his fingers. "Botan, you're a genius!" he exclaimed, whipping out a cell phone and quickly punching in a phone number. "Did you have that on you the entire time...?" Youko tried to ask, but sadly, the pair was still ignoring him. "Hello, Minamino residence, how can I help you?" came a familiar, polite voice on the other line. "Kurama! YES! There IS a God!!!" Yusuke shouted happily. "Yusuke, if there were anyone who should be incredibly aware of that fact, it should be you," the kitsune replied dryly. "Mind telling me why you're calling me at one in the morning?" Yusuke took a deep breath. "Okay, here's the deal. I'm trapped in a mall with Hiei and Botan and some really awesome other kid who scarily enough is named Youko, and we can't get out! Plus we just lost Hiei right now, and you KNOW he's still on probation!" Kurama sighed. "Well, that's not SO bad...just so long as you haven't gotten him drunk." Yusuke gulped, then laughed nervously. "Heh, well, it was the damndest thing..." "YUSUKE! Okay, fine, now it IS a bad thing. Okay, what was the last thing he said before he vanished?" Yusuke shrugged, not realizing that Kurama couldn't see it. "Something about a flute and a quest, I think." "And you haven't yet tried the music stores because...?" "KURAMA, YOU'RE A GENIUS!!!!!" "Gee...thanks...because that means SO MUCH coming from you, Yusuke."

A/N: 4 COMPLETE! Hope you liked it because this was a long chapter now please make us giddier than normal and please review! Over and OUT!

Kinaka Capri & Son Christine


	5. Sobriety Leads to Pain!

A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while but here's chapter 5! Contribute to the good ol' R&R fund! Thanks and enjoy!

Once the phone went dead, Yusuke ran a hand through his jet-black hair and sighed heavily. "Kurama said to try the music stores…" Everyone went silent for a few seconds. "Crap, how did we NOT think of that first?" Youko said, stroking the imaginary goatee and raising an eyebrow. "And I was just there so I can take you anyway. And I'll switch this stupid CD for some better folk tunes and stuff like that. Cool, now the trip's going to double up as something! There's always something better to look forward to in this hellhole of a mall! Forward march!" Youko said cheerfully, Yusuke running to catch up with him while Botan let her shoulders fall as she excruciatingly followed behind, as if she knew that her headache would worsen. "So which store was it, Youko?" Yusuke asked, scrutinizing every single store. "Er…I think it was called…Pineapples. Yeah. That's it." "That's a really whacked out name for a music store," Yusuke said, closing an eye. "Yeah, I know. But I ain't the one naming the place so…" Youko paused and noticed that they were suddenly standing in front of the said store lo and behold. "HIEI! WHERE ARE YOU?" Yusuke screamed, not wasting anytime in trying to find the Philharmonic half-pint. However, there seemed to be no answer and the three of Hiei's 'friends' cautiously entered the just barely illuminated music store. "I feel like we're in the Matrix…" Youko said in between snickers while Yusuke went on and grinned that oh so loving trademark grin of his. "Shut up, Agent Smith and Agent Stupid," Botan remarked...surely saving the stupid comment for none other than the Reikai Tantei.

"Well, this is productive," Yusuke announced some odd thirty minutes later. "Half an hour of searching and there's no sign of him." "Well, there IS more than one music store here, Yusuke," snapped Botan irritably. Her temper had been getting increasingly shorter as time went on. The gel-haired slacker groaned. "You mean we have to search them all?" Youko sighed. "Okay, at the very least we should split up, right? That way we can cover more ground. I mean, it's not like he could have just vanished." Botan and Yusuke exchanged a dark glance. Forty-five Minutes Later... "And now we've wasted an hour and fifteen minutes," Yusuke told everyone as they met up again, glancing casually at the clock on his cell phone. "Congratulations, people." "WE GET IT, OKAY YUSUKE?!!!" Botan screeched, getting dangerously close to the end of her rope. Then, pointedly ignoring the shell-shocked and vaguely traumatized looks on the boys' faces, she tapped her foot, thinking deeply. "Now, if I were a drunk, psychotic, cold-blooded kleptomaniac, where would I be...?" She clapped her hands. "Of course! To Carvel, people!"

In no time at all, they were at the entrance of the sweet shop. Carvel: the place that makes dentistry a VERY rewarding job indeed. No one can resist the allure of a soft serve ice cream cone. The wasted Jaganshi was surely no exception. "Hiei, get your butt back here right now!" Yusuke screamed, obviously his patience was wearing thin. Wait a minute… that was an understatement. He had LOST his patience at the last music store and it sure as hell wasn't coming back to him. "HIEI! NOW!" Yusuke tried again while his two 'friends' waited ever patiently (well as patiently as two stressed out people can possibly be) while Yusuke wasted all of his energy screaming at the top of his lungs at a youkai who was as stubborn as a mule. "If you don't get out of that store…" Yusuke stopped and tapped an index finger against his chin for a few seconds, trying his very hardest to think under less than normal circumstances. "Uh, if you get out here…" Another pause. "AHA! If you get out here, then you get to see Botan's underwear!" Youko whipped out his trusty video camera, but not before rolling on the floor, dying of laughter. And like a moth to a flame, Hiei threw his ice cream cone in a random direction and came flying out of the store like the psychotic, cold-blooded kleptomaniac that he was.

(Un)Fortunately, he once again tripped over his feet and sprawled out unceremoniously on the floor. "...Itai..." Botan blinked slowly. "You know, something just occurred to me..." "And that would be what?" asked Yusuke exasperatedly. "...I'm tired," the blue-haired girl informed him, swaying on her feet and looking very ready to pass out. The irate Tantei threw his hands up in the air. "Oh, for the love of--Botan?!!!" he yelled, as the deity suddenly keeled over where she stood. For once Hiei's drunken state came in handy, as he scrambled to his feet and caught her. Then promptly lost his balance again. "And another one bites the dust..." Youko sang quietly from behind his video camera. Yusuke was dismayed to hear a stifled yawn from the brunette as well. He gave a rueful sigh, looking down at Botan. "Well, it IS already past two in the morning," he muttered. "Actually, I think it was the aspirin," Youko chipped in. "Y'know, all those 'may cause drowsiness' labels aren't for naught." "I'll take your word for it..." "Guys...?" Hiei asked softly from his position on the floor. Both boys stared at him. "...I don't wanna be drunk anymore..."

"The hell you don't!" Yusuke said as he waved more popcorn in front of the little youkai's face. He took it and began eating again only because he was seemingly hungry. The last time that he ate was when Botan had gotten him drunk in the first place. "I really don't wanna be drunk hic anymore!" Hiei protested as he gently placed Botan on a nearby bench and gave an exasperated sigh followed by a pained moan. Hangover time? Possibly…wait… Youko and Yusuke noticed Hiei holding his head. Oh Kami-sama. VERY possible. "What the Jigoku is wrong with my head? What a mother…f…" Hiei muttered under his breath as he looked down at the floor. "SHIT!" Youko said as he hid his video camera. From what he remembered of Hiei, he knew for a definite fact that he would ANNIHILATE his prized recording device if any of his three eyes laid upon it. "What, _ningen_? You have something relatively foolish to say that'll add to this headache? Don't you dare say a word." Hiei said bitterly. Oh yeah. The cold and arrogant bastard act was back in full swing. "And wait a minute…what is…Yusuke doing here?!" "Hey, Hiei ol' buddy ol' pal! How's it hanging?" Yusuke said, followed by a whistle. "You don't remember anything," Youko innocently inquired, trying to get on the koorime's good side. "What exactly…do I have to remember about a uninteresting ningen 'mall' like this? Nothing, that's what…" "Err…maybe you should at least tap into your Jagan and find out?" Yusuke said, raising both eyebrows. Oh yeah, the Jaganshi was going to snap sometime soon…once he found out at least…

"His WHAT?" Youko asked, giving both of them strange looks. Yusuke immediately snapped his mouth shut, and Hiei winced before giving his fellow Tantei a poisonous glare. Tactful, aren't we Yusuke? the pained Jaganshi spat via telepathy. Yusuke cringed--not out of fear, but from the fact that a little of Hiei's hangover had somehow leaked through the link. "Erm, nothing..." he muttered. Hiei looked over at Botan. "What time is it, when did _she_ fall asleep, and how the hell did you end up here?" he demanded. Youko and Yusuke both blinked. "Uhh...2:27, a few minutes ago, and can't really answer that," the two said in unison, then each immediately gave the other a weird look. "And why, pray tell, are there over two hours of my memory missing?" Yusuke laughed nervously. "Goooooood question...say Hiei, what's the last thing you DO remember?" In the background, Youko snuck off to find a backpack so he could more easily conceal his video camera from the now sober (and rather pissed off) fire demon. Hiei thought for a moment. "I remember...being in the food court...and then..." He suddenly turned suspicious eyes toward the sleeping ferry girl. "Hey! Shounen!" he snapped at Youko, who was quite conveniently just returning, now with bookbag in hand. "What in HELL'S NAME did the onna put in my food?!" Youko grinned. "Got me," he answered, shrugging innocently.

"I know that something happened, Shounen…" Hiei hissed angrily, an aura forming around his right arm that only Yusuke could see. "I already told you, idiot!" Yusuke snapped, already knowing that he was doomed with Hiei no matter what he did or said. Might as well go out with a bang. "Look into your damned Jagan and see for yourself! What are we? Your BABYSITTERS?!" Hiei's eyebrow twitched in annoyance and did as the Reikai Tantei arrogantly spat out. Silence filled the dreary mall setting and Hiei clenched a fist as he started to see rather vivid images float into his head (but not as vivid as the video camera shots). He could see himself kissing Botan not once but a grand total of twice! Pictures of himself back flipping into a pile of cardboard boxes, him eating rum-flavored popcorn, him singing his very own Wild Wind, him wishing for…world peace? Enough was definitely enough! "What the JIGOKU?!" Hiei screamed with a certain eerie echo intensifying his already intimidating reaction. But that wasn't all. He also saw Youko's video camera obviously poking out of his knapsack. So much for playing secret agent. "Give that to me," Hiei said. "Er…I'm…a black belt?" Youko squeaked as he casually walked to the side and let Yusuke deal with him. "Good luck bud," Yusuke whispered in the brunette's ear, giving him a good pat on the back. "THE NINGEN IS GOING TO NEED IT," Hiei roared again. "Whoa, whoa! I joined this bloodthirsty troupe and I did the LEAST to make you seem like a blundering idiot! Why me?!"

"Cause you have the damn camera, that's why," Yusuke snorted, rolling his eyes. "Geez, even I know that and I'm our little group's renowned idiot." "Not true. Kuwabaka happens to be an iota dumber than you," Hiei tossed over his shoulder, still glaring black death at the brunette boy. Youko stared stoically for a moment, then suddenly began glaring back. "Okay, okay, from what I've heard and seen there's no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't kill me, but you people OBVIOUSLY aren't normal, so can I PLEASE have an explanation before I bite the big one?" Hiei blinked. Yusuke blinked. Youko blinked. Botan mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep, effectively breaking the silence. Yusuke grinned slightly. "Explanation before you die...? Well, luckily you aren't allowed to die for two reasons: Hiei over here will get thrown in jail for a few centuries, and the Grim Reaper is currently taking a little nappy-nap on the bench right there." Both Youko and Hiei stared at him as though he were insane. "Uh...what?" asked Youko blankly, and at the same time Hiei shouted angrily, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!!!! 

"Cool your jets, Jaganshi," Yusuke said as he put up a hand. "This guy's cool with authority now cause I said so!" Yusuke let off a casual grin and Youko was still standing there, half dumbfounded and half afraid…so afraid that he might wet his pants. "All right…Youko… err…what's your last name?" "Tasekano." The teen had hardly thought that that question was relevant but didn't press charges. "Okay, Tasekano…the thing is…this guy is a demon…I am a Reikai Tantei, and Botan over there is Death…literally." Quit while you're ahead, BAKA YAROU Hiei's malevolence pierced through Yusuke like a thousand knives would through silk. Crap. "So, yeah, now you know…and stuff…and now I'll let Hiei kill you!" "WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE?" Youko cried, hiding his precious camera, now aware that he would go into history as the first HUMAN to survive and record a wasted DEMON in action. "Yeah, and Hiei's got a third eye…so uh, watch out!" Hiei wasted no time in trying to attack Youko for the camera. He would CERTAINLY deal with the Tantei later. Oh he was most certainly NOT getting off scott free. Nevertheless, Youko was about to shriek like a schoolgirl if it wasn't for his HANDY upchuck reflex that caused him to whack the 5' youkai with his schoolbag. "Uh…that was…deliberate?" Youko said in a small voice, looking at Hiei, who was now lying on the floor. He appeared to be unconscious. For now. Good.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "What exactly did you put in there?" "Just my camera," Youko replied brightly. "...And a few bricks..." He noticed the look the other boy was giving him. "Hey, if it works for the old ladies...!" Yusuke sweatdropped. "Okay...so now we're stuck in a mall with two unconscious people. Great." Youko shrugged. "I'll take psycho demon child and you take our favorite preppy grim reaper." Yusuke was once again staring at him as though he had three heads. "WHAT?!!!! I'm used to dragging flame boy around by now! ...By, the way, he wouldn't happen to be a fire elemental, would he?" Yusuke nodded, and Youko rolled his eyes. "Figures. But for the record, I am STRAIGHT as an ARROW." Yusuke sweatdropped heavily. "I could mock you in so many ways, but it's way too late. And, well, I was just going to ask about WHERE you propose we take Dipsy and La-La over here." Youko blinked, feeling a little embarrassed. "...Oh. Okay then."

"Okay, I'm SO going for the idea of us stopping at the mattress place on floor 3…" Youko muttered to himself as he still had the Jaganshi slung over his shoulder. "Ya know, Tasekano…that sounds like a good idea. But the thing is, if we DO fall asleep in this mall, we run the risk of waking up to an angry mob in the morning…pitchforks and all." Youko sweatdropped. "You've got the imagination of…a…of a…" "14-year-old? Cause that's what I am." The teen widened his eyes. "You kidding me? I thought you were my age!" Yusuke blinked and stopped walking. "To answer your upcoming question, 18. I'm a senior in high school! THANK KAMI-SAMA!" Youko cried out, forgetting that Hiei could wake up at any given moment. But the person that they did not expect to wake up, did. Botan. Good morning…er…good EARLY morning. "Wha…Yusuke? Why are you carrying me?! Put me down right now!" Yusuke took a deep breath. "I don't want to deal with your PMSing right now. Look. What you missed when you conked out: Hiei got sober and/or has a really scary hangover problem--" "Oh no!" Botan wailed. "We should tie him up somewhere and leave him! I am NOT shortening my life by hanging out near a…" "A youkai?" Youko finished her sentence rather quickly. "You know about us then?" The brunette nodded. "Don't worry Botan. This guy's cool by association!" She let her shoulders drop. That was quite a typical and immature response from the Tantei in fact. "But about that tying up thing…that COULD work…" "Oh no, boys…NO bloodshed, vandalism, or harassment while I'm up!" Youko raised an eyebrow. Yeah, the night was growing to become more interesting by each passing second.

Botan yawned and suddenly glared downwards. "Yusuke," she began sweetly. "PUT ME THE HELL DOWN!!!!!!!" The Tantei winced and wondered whether or not he had gone deaf. Thankfully, a certain fire demon was still out cold. She glanced apprehensively at Youko. "Well...I suppose we could always just ask Hiei to use his Jagan on him..." she muttered to herself. Yusuke shrugged. "That's what I was thinking." "Thinking? _You_? PRAISE THE LORD AND LET US REMEMBER THIS MONUMENTAL OCCASION!!!!" Botan hollered. Youko blinked. "What exactly do you mean when you say he's gonna use his Jagan on me?" he asked, sounding vaguely panicked. "I mean, he isn't gonna vaporize me or anything, is he?!" "Nah, it's painless!" Yusuke assured him. "Well, I think...anyway, all he's gonna do is wipe your memory, okay?" "WHAT?!!!!!!!" This time, even Hiei flinched in his sleep. "Don't worry," Yusuke consoled, patting the older teen on the shoulder. "We'll put your video tape to gooooooooood use."

A/N: And that's a wrap! Sorry that we had to make Hiei conk out for a while but hey, there's comical value in it plus more explanations and tidbits to come. Please review! Manic people love reviews! Ciao!

Son Christine & Kinaka Capri


	6. The TAPE

A/N: Glad you like-ee! Here's ch 6!

The toddler was watching every little stunt on his big screen from behind his paper crowded desk, looking the least bit surprised. "I knew that once I put that device into Yusuke's hands, something was going to go wrong. Oh yes, something HORRIBLY WRONG." The Reikai Prince sighed heavily and picked up his azure colored telephone. If there was someone who could bring those bunch of idiots back in one piece and undiscovered, it would be… "Hello? Minamino residence, who am I speaking with?" Came a VERY tired voice on the other end of the line. "Oh good, Kurama it's you…" Koenma said desperately. "Err…yes…Koenma?" "Kurama, we have a favor to ask of you," he said slowly. The redhead raised an eyebrow in skepticallity. "Not to be rude or anything, Koenma…but are we in the same time zone still? You DO realize that it is 2:45 in the morning…don't you?" The toddler glanced at his wristwatch. "Fancy that! But HARDLY the point. You are aware that Yusuke and the 'posse' as you might like to call them, are trapped in a city mall, correct?" Kurama rolled his flashing emerald eyes. Man, why'd he always have to deal with cleanup? "Yes, Koenma, I will do my best to 'rescue' them from this little charade." The fifteen-year-old heard very giddy squeaks come from the other line. "You're welcome, sir…" Kurama said in a half-moan and then hung up. Great. Now HE was the one off a'questin'.

Meanwhile, off with our not-so-happy troupe of...well...freaks, patience was running low and tempers were running high. Yusuke was frustrated, Botan's headache had returned, and Youko was suffering from severe sleep deprivation. Fortunately for all their sanity (and LIVES), Hiei...was still out like a light. Which was definitely a good thing, considering that he was probably sleeping off his hangover at this point. "Yusuke, there is no way in the three freakin' worlds that I will let you keep that tape!" Botan shrieked. After all, it had as much on her as it did Hiei, almost. Well, maybe not, but it was nevertheless blackmail. Over to the side, Youko was leaning against a wall, the video camera hidden inconspicuously behind his back. The poor boy was busy wondering if there was any way he could get out of the mall before he went entirely insane, and what exactly he had done to deserve being trapped here with a bunch of supernatural psychopaths in the first place. He was tired to the point that it really didn't surprise him when Botan suddenly summoned an oar from thin air and began whacking him in the head with it. "Amusing, aren't they?" came a wry voice from the right of him. Youko jumped. "Do you people have anything better to do then just pop out of thin air?!" he yelped. Kurama rolled his eyes. "Yes, actually I could be SLEEPING right now." The kitsune was rightfully annoyed at having been dragged out of bed for this. He looked over at the bench. "Well, at least Hiei's asleep," he muttered. Youko laughed nervously. "Heh heh, yeah, ASLEEP," he agreed. Kurama raised an eyebrow. "...Okay... Yusuke! Botan!" "HI KURAMA!!!!" they both yelled, then immediately went back to fighting. "They're insane," Youko observed, chewing absently on something. "Man, this is a really hard bagel," he added. Kurama just blinked. '...Why me...'

"WAITAMINNIT!" Yusuke screamed, trying to perform the Heimlich maneuver on Youko when he finally realized what he was eating. "Spit it out idiot!" Yusuke screamed again at Youko, performing the technique quite well. "Yusuke what in the REIKAI are you doing to him? Leave that poor boy alone!" Botan harped. Yusuke ignored her and instead announced to the troupe, "Youko DIDN'T eat a bagel just now! He ATE the saving contraption!" Kurama's eyes went wide. "BREATHE MAN, BREATHE!" Yusuke said as he pushed in Youko's stomach once more. Suddenly, part of the transmitter flew out of his trachea and mouth and obviously smacked right into Kurama's face. Everything suddenly went silent, Kurama standing there, holding his nose. "Sorry, man. I mean, I can't control the way I spit out stuff…If I could, then I would want it to hit flame boy over here," Youko said rather honestly. He had NO more energy to speak of and if there was in fact energy to spare, he sure as hell wouldn't waste it by lying. "A rather charming boy. It's no wonder that you're called Youko…" Kurama said, now rubbing the red mark on his nose.

Yusuke clapped his hands together. "Oh, that's RIGHT! Youko, meet Youko," he said, indicating first the teen and then the kitsune. Kurama smacked himself in the head. "Yusuke...I got two hours of sleep and I am NOT in a good mood right now," he sighed. "Consider that your two minute warning." Youko looked confused. "I thought your name was...hey, wait...I get it." He shook his head. "Great, first pyro dude, then miss death, and now fox-boy." Kurama looked momentarily surprised, turned suspiciously toward a certain guilty-looking Tantei. Yusuke glared. "Why does everyone immediately suspect me?!" "Because not only is it usually your fault, but your face is like an open book, Yusuke." The fourteen-year-old sighed dejectedly. "Gotta get that fixed...meh, maybe I'll ask Hiei to give me lessons. In a few hundred years." Youko looked over at him. "Figure of speech or am I the only human here?" "Fifty-fifty. Technically I'm a hanyou, I guess. Not even. Damn generation skips, but hey look, I just won the genetic lotto! Wahoo!" Youko blinked. "How am I even still sane," he muttered. "I don't know, but when you find an answer, please inform me," Kurama groaned. Botan looked up and held out a small bottle. "Aspirin, anyone?"

Kurama snatched the bottle of aspirin and pulled out a water bottle from the depths of his long red hair. "Uhh, other Youko…how did you just do that?" Youko said in awe, looking at Kurama who was now taking his pill. "Call me Kurama, Youko. It will help avoid confusion…" "TOO LATE!" Screamed the Tantei. "Okay then, KURAMA…How did you just um…what's the word…? MAGICALLY pull out something like that?" Kurama put on a sly grin. Apparently, he wasn't too tired to show off. "Err...Youko-kun, Kurama's just special that way and let's leave it at that!" Botan interjected suddenly. "Agreed," Kurama replied. "Wait…" Youko started up again. "Why don't you just pull out a KEY out of your bright…unique…PINK colored hair?" Yusuke started cracking up and fell over. True, the kitsune had pink hair, no ifs ands or buts about it. "I don't know if I can…" Kurama started. "TO HELL WITH IT! I'LL DO IT THEN!" Youko and Yusuke attacked the kitsune's precious PINK head of hair and started to look through it. "You find it yet, bud?" "Nope." Botan shrugged and came over to help with the search. "Could this be it," she inquired as she held up a pink object. Of course…like a needle in a haystack. "YES! Botan you're a genius!" Youko said as he gave her a friendly half-hug. "Err…forget I did that!"

Kurama groaned, rubbing his sore scalp, and then glared pointedly at Botan and Yusuke. "Did it ever occur to you," he asked slowly, "that being Youko Kurama, one of THE most infamous thieves in all of Makai, I could have just, y'know, PICKED the lock for you?" Youko's camera was out again, per usual to the most amusing moments. Botan and Yusuke exchanged a nervous glance. "Uhhh, it's really late?" Botan offered, smiling sheepishly. "Yes, Botan, I realize that," Kurama responded through gritted teeth. "I realize that to the utmost degree." Yusuke looked back and forth between the two. "Screw this! I'm seeing if the blasted thing actually WORKS!" He rushed to the nearest door and inserted the key. It fit, and turned. All four conscious people stared incredulously. "Yes!" proclaimed Youko, punching a fist into the air. "FREEDOM!!!!!!!!" Yusuke grinned, turned the knob, and pulled. And pulled. And pulled some more. "And just when our resident fire demon was asleep," Botan muttered under her breath. "And NO, Yusuke, you CAN'T blast the door down."

In a matter of seconds, Kurama, Botan, Yusuke, and Youko were smacking Hiei with all of their might in hopes of waking the little fire demon. They all had the theory: pain equals waking up a deranged fire demon who could hopefully save their lives from a raging blizzard. "THE THEORY ISN'T WORKING, GUYS!" Youko screamed, now in a panic. "Kurama, take out the rose whip and give him 40 lashes!" "Why 40, Youko?" The kitsune wondered. Yusuke stopped beating the poor youkai for a moment and turned to Kurama, looking vaguely disappointed. "You don't know that 40 is THE traditional whipping number?! Man you are DEPRIVED, fox!" Botan raised an eyebrow and pulled the aspirin out of her pocket. "This is foolish…" She muttered under her breath. "Doesn't ANYONE know how to wake up a bloodthirsty Jaganshi?" Everyone paused and thought for a moment. Surprisingly enough, Yusuke was the first to have an answer. He grinned the trademark grin and took a deep breath while everyone shut their ears. It was going to be loud. VERY loud. "HIEI! THERE'S A WHOLE MANSLAUGHTERING FIESTA GOING ON AND YOU'RE MISSING IT!" The Jaganshi's beady red eyes opened and he jumped to his feet with a start. "Where? Where?! Inquiring minds want to KNOW!" Hiei hollered. "Tres bien, Yusuke," Kurama said happily.

Hiei turned his eyes, still a bit hazy from sleep, toward Kurama. "What. The. Hell," he stated rather coolly. "Kami-sama, where are you people COMING FROM?!" "Oh, out of the walls and through the sewers systems, dontcha know," Yusuke babbled. "They got the place sprayed last week, but we just keep coming back." Youko had lost all of his patience. "Hey PYRO! I have an equation for you! Sub-zero temperatures plus manic fire demon equals we get the hell out of here!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!!!!" Hiei stared at the now vaguely deranged boy and smirked slightly. "Well, someone's finally lost their temper," he sneered. Then he frowned deeply. A chill settled over the hearts of the other four. Botan put on a puppy-dog pout. "Hiei...door...pretty, pretty please????" He stared blandly at her. "For once, ferry girl, I wish I could do what you request. Unfortunately, Reikai is finally growing a spine and this is my second strike." Kurama smacked himself in the forehead. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me." Yusuke and Youko both looked at him questioningly, but it was Botan who forlornly sighed, "They didn't let you keep any of your youki this time, did they?" The fire demon shook his head. Yusuke fell over. "This cannot be happening... KOENMA, YOU ARE SO DEAD WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!"

"Well I wish I had a rose whip that was extremely flammable but sadly, I do not," Kurama said. He was still wondering why he himself even AGREED to get up from his nice and comfortable bed, drag his lazy body all the way to the mall, and get STUCK with all of his idiot friends. Yep, that's probably the 8th wonder of the world. "How about…we go to a convenience store and…uh, get a household appliance that could CREATE heat?" Youko suggested while simultaneously pointing to a store called 'What's For Dinner?' Everyone paused for a moment and then suddenly showered the teen with compliments. "That's the BEST idea I heard all night!" Botan squeaked. "I thought that cross dressing was your favorite idea?" Youko remarked. "THAT WAS YOUR IDEA, BAKA!" She screamed as a response. "Remember? You didn't actually go through with it because you were afraid that Hiei would express himself as a transvestite!" Hiei growled and looked at the eighteen-year-old with a death glare. "Er, right…glad I wasn't here for that," Yusuke and Kurama said in unison, starting to head for the kitchen appliance store. Hopefully, things would tip in their favor…but with their luck? Hell no.

Kurama, being the authority on cooking between the two of them (Youko was still at the mercy of Hiei), immediately located the stove and flipped it on. A pungent smell of gas came from the appliance, but no fire was lit. "Hey, don't you need to add like, a flame just to light it up?" he heard Yusuke ask, his voice echoing oddly. "Ah hah! A match!" the Tantei suddenly proclaimed. The sound of striking a match sounded throughout the restaurant. "HOLY F--" FWOOM Kurama instantly whipped around and took in the scene. Botan and Youko staring with wide eyes, Hiei smirking, Yusuke a crispy black...and the oven had become a very impressive inferno. Hiei clapped mockingly. "Nice job." Kurama shot up and began searching for a fire extinguisher. "PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" Yusuke yelped, smacking various parts of his body that were still aflame.

"There's one up on the next floor," Hiei informed as he used his 'useless' Jagan eye to scope out the entire mall plan. Botan nodded and whipped out her oar to get there fast while Youko's eyes widened even more. Girl. On oar. Sober? Yes. But wait…he didn't see wrong. "Botan, how'd you get that…thing that you're riding on?" Youko called out, abandoning his fajita flamebroiling friend. Yusuke was still trying to get the flames out of his white tee shirt but even though he was able to survive, the fire had burned his shirt anyway so he NOW looked like a homeless bum who was incredibly tired. Old news. "Okay Yusuke…we should try this again…" Botan said as she started hosing him down with the white stuff in the fire extinguisher. "BUT THIS TIME…DON'T LIGHT THE MATCH! Haven't you ever gone to home ec before?" Botan said as she threw the extinguisher on the ground and eyed Yusuke. "Oh that's right…NO you haven't because I forgot…You don't GO to class! Youko, can YOU make this stove work? Either you or Kurama because seriously, I wouldn't trust Hiei to do it…hell, he'd make the SAME mistake as Yusuke just did!" Hiei snorted. "Onna, I'm warning you…"

"Well, not the SAME mistake," Kurama said sarcastically. "After all, fire demons are somewhat more FLAME RESISTANT than the REST of us." Youko raised an eyebrow. "Dude, it is WAY too late for you and your temper." "Is that your FINAL answer?" the kitsune snorted cynically. Botan and Yusuke exchanged a glance and sweatdropped. Hiei didn't care. Actually, it would make for a good moment to get back at the baka kitsune for always taunting him... "Hey, Kurama, maybe YOU could use a little liquor," Yusuke suggested innocently. The irate thief only glared at him. "Not funny, Yusuke. Plus, you would find that alcohol has a VERY different effect on me than it does Hiei..." Youko's eyes suddenly lit up at the mention of alcohol. "I know!" he cried. "I'll show you my wonderful, award-winning video!" "THE HELL YOU WILL!!!!!!" screamed Hiei and Botan at the same time. Kurama looked over at the pair. An evil, Youko-worthy grin spread across his face. "All right. Yeah, actually, that seems like just the thing I need right now," he agreed. It WAS just what he needed. After all, what better way to cheer him up than to learn the woes of the dastardly pair that had dragged him there in the first place? Youko got a similar smile, and, both taking a quick glance at Hiei and Botan as they did, the duo shot out of the room into unknown depths to watch...the Tape.

"You don't really think that he'll actually…um…show Kurama the tape, right?" Botan inquired as she worriedly looked from left to right. Hiei folded his arms and said nothing. It was obvious, however, that he was just as worried as Botan about the kitsune actually finding out about his kiss with the fickle ferry girl. "Cool your jets, Hiei, Kurama wouldn't make fun of you no matter what he saw…" Yusuke said in a form of consolation. Nevertheless, the now sober Jaganshi sighed and rolled his ruby orbs ever nonchalantly. "Yusuke's right, Hiei! You shouldn't be so down on yourself! I mean, Kurama is the most loyal guy there is and let's not forget that he's completely understanding, too. Don't worry about him finding out anything that was rather…err…unnecessary." Yusuke looked at her and exchanged a forlorn glance. "Either you're really nervous about it, or you're on Prozac and trying to forget about it…" Botan sighed. "You know me too well…"

They were all interrupted by the sounds of hysterical laughter. Yusuke sweatdropped. "And apparently, the loyalty of a fox only goes so far." Hiei winced inwardly. "Hn. Obviously not far enough, I'd say." Botan curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth. "I hate blackmail, I hate blackmail," she chanted over and over, clamping her hands over her ears. Yusuke cocked an eyebrow. "Well. It's official. She's lost it." "I never realized she HAD it in the first place…" Hiei muttered to himself. Yusuke looked over at him in surprise. "Oooh, new equation: Hiei plus former alcoholic state plus blackmail plus lack of sleep equals vague sense of humor." "Hn. You wish." "I wish I'd set you loose the LAST time you had alcohol!" came an amused voice from the depths of the hallway left of them. "That was indeed priceless." Hiei's eyes widened in horror. Botan remained in a fetal position, dead to the world. "Screw Reikai. The shounen is MINE," the (now humiliated) hi-youkai growled dangerously. Yusuke leapt up. "Don't think so! Youko's under the sound protection of Urameshi Yusuke!" "I don't plan on allowing you to hurt him either, Hiei," Kurama added coolly. "YES!" yelled the aforementioned teen triumphantly from behind Kurama. "I got both the freaky fox AND the half-human delinquent on my side!"

But still, that might not have been enough protection from the rather intimidating fire youkai. "Hiei, I didn't realize that your feelings for Botan shone through your intoxicated state," Kurama mentioned cunningly as he ran a hand through his long red hair. Yusuke tried his level best not to laugh but couldn't resist. He laughed. No wait. Guffawed. Screamed so unbelievably loud that Botan winced. "OH MAN! That was the best Kurama! And you're probably right too. Hiei wuves Botan…aww, how cute!" The chestnut-haired boy rose to the challenge and added his two cents. "I knew he liked her all along," he cried, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I even asked them when we first ran into each other near the video game store. But of course, I knew the little flame boy was going to deny it." Kurama chuckled and shut his eyes. "Botan, do you like Hiei?" Youko added, his eyes quite wide and eager with anticipation. The look in his eyes could not fool Hiei. Oh no. He wanted answers and he wanted them lickety split.

"I'M NOT LISTENING!!!!! I'M NOT LISTENING!!!!" Botan screamed in retaliation, still plugging her ears. "YES YOU ARE!!!!" Yusuke shouted back, hurrying over and tearing her hands away from her head. Kurama tackled Hiei to the ground before he could do anything to prevent the matter, and Youko got a flashlight to shine in Botan's eyes for…dramatic effect. Yusuke looked over at his fellow teen of mischief. "Too many cop shows?" "You bet," Youko agreed. Both of them turned back to Botan. "Well, Botan? Answer the question," Yusuke ordered. Botan feigned ignorance. "I'm sorry. What question?" "Do ya like the flame-haired midget or not?!" Youko demanded. The stubborn ferry girl turned her head to the side and clamped her mouth shut. "Answer the question or Youko'll keep shining the light in your eyes," Kurama threatened half-heartedly, still struggling to keep Hiei in check long enough for them to get their answer. Yusuke opened his mouth to agree, when Kurama's eyes suddenly lit up with so much evil that even Hiei stopped moving to try to shrink away from him. "Or better yet…if you don't answer, we'll show the others the Tape." "Oooooh," Yusuke and Youko chorused appreciatively in wonder of the kitsune's evil genius. "C'mon, Botan," a certain Tantei coaxed with a smirk. "You HAVE to tell us now."

"And what in the blazes happened to all of you being tired? I thought that you were so out of it Kurama!" Botan snapped, her eyes still averted. "Well," Kurama said, holding up an idex finger, about to make some sort of point. "Once we got to a multimedia store, Youko cleverly had in hand a…um…cup of…" "Starbucks," Youko said, finishing his sentence so that his newfound kitsune partner would not have to strain his brain trying to remember a ningen coffee hut. "Yes, well anyway, once I drank the coffee that he so generously…took without paying, I began to feel much better and as a result, I'm all ready to torment…" Everyone arched an eyebrow. "Oh, did I say torment? I meant confront…yes, that sounds about right…" Kurama concluded with a nervous snicker. And all of a sudden, no one really felt save with Kurama nearby anymore…in fact, they felt…very frightened and scared.

"Of all the times, he has to choose NOW to revert to a youko state of mind," grumbled Hiei on the floor. "The FOX, not YOU, baka!" he snapped at Youko, who was giving him a weird look. The teen shook his head. "I'm never gonna get used to this…" "Come ON, Botan!" Yusuke was still saying. "If you don't, I'll sic psycho Kurama on you!" "I don't enjoy being used for threatening purposes if I'm not in on the deal, Yusuke," said kitsune warned his friend. Yusuke stared at him. "I thought this whole mood was brought on because you ARE in on the deal, Kurama." Kurama blinked as thoug this had just occurred to him. "Yes…well…" There were a few moments of awkward-induced silence. "Kurama…" hissed Hiei suddenly. "I can't feel my legs." "Not my problem," shot back the caffeine-high youko. "Tell your girlfriend to get a move on and answer the damn question." "You people have a one-track mind, don't you?" sighed Botan, already partially blind thanks to Youko.

Botan rubbed her head and heaved a small sigh. Great. How was she supposed to get out of this one alive and unscathed? How? Um…that really wasn't an option. "Well, guys…" Botan said as she tried her very best to blink a few times. Maybe the dots that she saw would go away. Nope. Still there. "I think that this is completely pointless! Aren't we supposed to be finding a way out instead of embarrassing two innocent people!!!!" Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Or, at least one innocent person. The other one is a raging lunatic," Botan added, Hiei giving her a malevolent look. "It's NOT pointless!" Yusuke screamed. "Look, the tape was made HERE, some of us witnessed it HERE and some of us watched it HERE so the only way that I can feel complete is finding out if you like our fire friend…where? I'll tell you where…HERE!" Everyone stayed silent for a few seconds. "Yusuke, that made NO sense just now…" Youko said sadly. "Look, nothing made sense tonight. This mall is a freak show!" "And we're the freaks!" Kurama added giddily, still holding down the rambunctious youkai. "Um, is his face supposed to be turning blue?" Youko intelligently brought up. Hiei shook his head rather slowly as he managed to get out two words: not breathing.

Kurama blinked. "I'm sorry, what was that?" he said with mock innocence. Yusuke glanced over, his eyes widening slightly as he did so. "Uhh, Kurama? Maybe you SHOULD let him go…I mean, you wouldn't want him dyin' on us now, would you?" "He has disrupted my sleep, therefore that question is debatable," the kitsune replied in an oddly logical tone of voice. …Air… Hiei begged his FORMER partner via telepathy, now lacking the oxygen supply to ask him verbally. Kurama didn't move. Youko was beginning to look a little nervous about the situation as well. "Umm…" "Don't worry, I'm just going to wait until he passes out," Kurama informed them pleasantly. Yusuke stared. "Wow…that is so…not reassuring." Botan, COMPLETELY DISREGARDING HIEI'S STATE OF WELL-BEING, decided to take advantage of the situation. "LOOK! A distraction!" she proclaimed, jabbing a finger in some random direction. Yusuke, being Yusuke, actually fell for it. Youko was too busy worrying about whether or not he could be sent to jail for being guilty by association to a bunch of psychopaths. And as for Kurama…well, Hiei was still semi-conscious. Because of this, Botan was able to escape the boys' clutches and run like hell toward the one place where even the mightiest man would fear to tread: the girl's bathroom.

"KUSO! Someone let Botan get away!!!" Yusuke cried out, pointing at her running away. "That's because you actually fell for her ploy. You were the one who wasn't busy at the time." Yusuke folded his arms and thought for a moment. "Well someone has to go and get her. Who cares if it's the girl's bathroom? She's the only one in there right now so it doesn't really matter!!" Youko shrugged. "Care to tell us who you're volunteering for this little charade, Yusuke?" the teen inquired, hoping and praying to Buddha that he wasn't the one 'randomly' selected. "Um, I think I'm going to go with…Kurama…" The bishounen's green eyes went wide in awe. "Why me?" "Do I have to give you my reasons?" Yusuke napped. Serves…you…right…you damned kitsune. Hiei spoke up telepathically. And everyone knows that he would have laughed hysterically at that moment…that is, if he had the oxygen to do it. But telepathy would have to do and Kurama was embarrassed all the same. "Fine," the kitsune said dryly as he got off of Hiei (finally). "I'll go check, but you wait here…" Everyone nodded and watched as the redhead climbed onto an escalator and casually made his way into the girl's bathroom. "AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

"What is it?!" Youko and Yusuke asked simultaneously, hurrying up the escalator. They found Kurama on the ground, wincing and putting a hand to a rather large bump on his head. "Well, that didn't work out," he announced through gritted teeth in a dangerously calm voice. Despite the situation, Yusuke just had to point and laugh. "HA! Now YOU know what it feels like!" Kurama rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm getting an ice pack." He disappeared into the shadows. Youko and Yusuke exchanged a glance. "I call guarding the bathroom door!" Youko said instantly. "…What?" Yusuke asked blankly. Then it clicked. "Sure, land ME with the cranky, oxygen-deprived fire demon," he grumbled, heading back down the stairs. He soon found, however, that this task wouldn't be particularly difficult. Hiei had very conveniently decided to pass out during their absence. How…thoughtful of him.

A/N: R&R!


	7. There and Back Again

A/N: Let us go with the flow, for insanity guides us now.

Botan in the meantime was pacing the bathroom floor, wondering how she could escape her mess. She was trapped with a group of boys and one had just shown his true colors…a real pervert. "I can't believe Kurama tried to come in here!" Botan muttered furiously under her breath. "Anyway, that's hardly the point…I have to find a way to get out of here before my 'friends' find a way to snap even more than they already have…if that's even possible." Botan sighed and looked at herself in the mirror. "No, I can't let myself get this stressed out! I have to get out of here…maybe a little fresh air will help clear my head…" She walked over to the lone window in the bathroom and opened it with ridiculous ease. She then looked down and noticed a heater. A REAL working heater. It took a few seconds to sink in… "THANK REIKAI! I'M OUT OF HERE!" she said as she summoned her oar and flew out of the window, unknown to the four boys in her troupe.

Amazingly, all it took to dampen her mood was a little blast of cold air. Okay, a HUGE blast of SUB-ZERO air, actually. Apparently, Botan had taken the lovely heated-ness of the mall for granted. The ferry girl gave a violent sneeze, nearly toppling off her oar as a gust of angry snowflakes slammed into her. 'Maybe I should have just stayed at the mall…NO! ANYWHERE is better than here! In fact…isn't Genkai's temple less than a mile away?' That comforting thought kept her going for the entire (very short) journey. Ten minutes later, she was standing in front of her destination, chilled to the bone and her hands frozen to her oar. She just barely managed to knock on the door. "Botan!" exclaimed Yukina, who had answered the door. "Oh, what happened?!" "Ju-ju-just d-don't ask-k-k," the ferry girl responded through chattering teeth. "N-n-n-need heat-t-t." The koorime gasped, swinging the door open wider. "Oh, of course! Come in!"

Botan was in shock when she stepped further into the temple. "What?!" she managed to blurt out as she caught sight of Koenma, Genkai, Shizuru, Kuwabara, Jin, Cabbit, Keiko, Chuu, Rinku, Touya, Jorge, Koko, Natsume, Shishiwakamaru, Suzuki, and a memorial stone for the late-late-late-very-late Raizen. "Uhh, what are all of you doing here? With sake? Having a party?" Botan questioned repeatedly. "Botan, I got sick of babysitting you and watching you at the mall on my big screen so I decided to call Genkai and we just started this shindig actually…it beats listening to Ogre's grating voice all night!" Koenma snapped, amber eyes flashing with annoyance. "But Koenma-sama!" "Can it!" Genkai cleared her throat and began passing around dumplings. "Botan, you're welcome to join us. And I'd say you deserve it, considering that you were the first out of the group of idiot boys to make it back here in one piece." "Thank you very much, Genkai," Botan said, bowing slightly. "And it looks like I probably escaped the same way that Jin and Cabbit escaped," she added, winking at Jin. "Aye, flying is the only way to travel, it is, it is. I just hope that Urameshi and the gang can get out of this little ordeal soon. We've got plenty of food to go around!"

"Go fish," Youko announced. "Rats!" Yusuke 'cursed', snapping his fingers and drawing a card from the deck. Kurama had discovered a deck of cards on the way to obtaining an ice pack, and the four conscious boys had taken to playing the almighty game of Go Fish in front of the girl's bathroom. "We need a new game," Kurama sighed, throwing his hand down. "What, one hour of Go Fish is too much for you?" Yusuke asked sarcastically. Yes, the boys had indeed been playing Go Fish in front of the girl's bathroom for an hour straight. It didn't occur to them that maybe it was a bit strange that Botan had not emerged some time during their wait. After all, they were only boys.

"Okay, I think that someone should seriously check up on Botan. I don't think that changing a pad takes a couple hours plus…" Yusuke said sarcastically as he draw another card. The three of diamonds to be more exact. "Anyone got an eight?" he asked as the rest of his group turned beet red because of his…inappropriate comment. "Hiei, why don't you go in? You kind of look like a girl with lipstick…" Yusuke informed. Everyone shot a quizzical glance at the Reikai Tantei. "Um, Yusuke…but, how would you know something like that…unless you tried it on him while he was sleeping or something?" Youko said in monotone. He was rather creeped out by just envisioning it. However, even though Yusuke was sick, he surely wasn't THAT sick. "Fine, ningen…I'll go check but don't hold me accountable for my actions," Hiei said sourly as he stood up and threw his cards on the floor. Entering the bathroom with a bad-boy sort of routine, he stopped dead. "AAAAAAAHH!"

He stared in horror at the bathroom. "It's…it's PINK!" He sneezed. "And cold." Youko poked his head in. "Huh. Looks like the heater blew out." He looked around. "Oh Booootaaaaan," he called. "Your lover-boy is waaaaaaaiting for you!" Hiei's patience finally ran out, causing him to ram an elbow into the teen's ribcage. Youko gasped in pain. "Ow," he managed to whisper, slumping against the door. "Ya had it coming, Youko, for standing next to him when you said it," Yusuke pointed out, coming up behind the pair to peer into the bathroom. "Ah, so THIS is what it looks like," he observed, taking a look around. "Hey, Youko, get out your video camera." Youko held up a hand, still trying to regain his breath. "Yusuke," he wheezed. "I thought this was supposed to be blackmail for a certain other pair, not you and me!" The Tantei blinked. "Oh yeah. Good point."

"Um…the ferry girl is…gone…" Hiei said as he opened the door to each stall and found that Botan was conspicuously absent. "WHAT?!" Yusuke said as he rushed right in, as did Youko and Kurama. The four boys were standing in a girl's bathroom and it was just about five in the morning. Oh great. "So Botan was able to escape, huh? She probably didn't want us find out about her master plan and used this damned female sanctuary to make her getaway! WHY?!!!" Youko screeched, the histrionics coming into play stronger and stronger as each second went by. Yusuke put a hand on Youko's shoulder, telling him to chill out and that they would get out too. "Hmm, if Botan did make her escape, then she must have gone through this single window. Either that or she tried to crawl through this vent," Kurama remarked intelligently, an index finger shooting upward. "Okay guys…to the window!" The Reikai Tantei summoned his 'posse' and all four of them started to pull on the window. Uh oh. Not moving. Immobilized. STUCK. "Let's try again," Hiei said in monotone as he placed a firm grip on the window handle. "1…2…3!" they all shouted as they gave the window one last hard tug and all toppled backward. "Well this sucks…" Youko said, rubbing his rear end in pain. "Let's go for the vents…"

After they had successfully pried the cover from the bent, a new problem loomed before them. "Uh, Botan's a GIRL, so it would be really easy for her to fit in the vent, but wouldn't it be kind of hard for us?" Yusuke asked. Kurama smiled slyly. He'd already taken that into account. Well, that and the fact that he wasn't done tormenting a certain someone. "Not true. After all, we don't even know if this vent leads out of here, and there's only one person needed to scout. And what do you know, I do believe there is one of us that fits after all…" And so, Hiei now found himself crawling through dirty vents, cursing everyone's favorite kitsune under his breath. 'If I get stuck in here, the moment I get out I am DEFINITELY going to slaughter Kurama. No, wait, even if I DON'T get stuck in here, the moment I get out I am STILL definitely slaughtering Kurama.' Of course, it was then that a new option presented itself to him. The vent gave way beneath his weight, sending a VERY homicidal fire demon through the ceiling to land in (fortunately) a rather large pile of pillows in Bed Bath and Beyond.

"Someone must have brains...someone must have brains...someone HAS to have brains!" Yusuke screamed, anxiously waiting for Hiei's morose arrival. He thought that his CHEERY response would be along the lines of, 'A few rats tried to gnaw at me so I killed them with the Kokuryuuha... oh, news about escape you want? Forget it. Not happening.' Yusuke shuddered. "We NEED a brain people! Hiei isn't coming back!" Kurama rolled his eyes. "What on earth are you talking about, Yusuke? Is that overactive imagination getting the best of you again?" Youko snickered. "Look, I just have a feeling that Hiei ISN'T coming back. So it's up to someone...with a BRAIN to figure out what we're going to do now... I'm sick of this pink bathroom!" All three boys nodded. "Hear, hear," Youko announced.

Even though their IQs had dropped to a level equivalent with that of the common hamster, Kurama still brilliantly deduced that they could escape their pink prison by simply exiting the bathroom and waiting for Hiei there. The other two promptly agreed, and a card game commenced shortly after. The game? Why, Old Maid. Of course, this wasted ten minutes of them trying to remember how exactly to play Old Maid, as they had long forgotten the days of yore. But they remembered in the end, and were having a grand old time with their game. So grand, in fact, that they completely forgot their primary mission. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, considering the fact that Hiei was still passed out in Bed, Bath, and Beyond anyway.

"Aah, umm…I got the old maid guys…" Youko said as he lethargically placed his cards down on the floor. "I think…that I'm gonna quit now." Everyone eyed the boy, obviously understanding that he was quite the sore loser and couldn't stand being beaten at a game that was created by HIS kind. "And anyways, dontcha wonder where Hiei is?" Everyone shot puzzling glances. Hiei HAD been gone for a while and Kurama desperately hoped that he didn't cause any less than normal destructive behavior in the mall in which they were trapped. "Maybe we should look for him." Yusuke leapt up to his feet. "Well maybe he's getting drunk again! We wouldn't wanna miss any of the action!" Kurama grinned. And as much as he liked his carefree companion, there was still a matter of payback for actually dragging him to the mall. Youko, had hearing the word 'drunk,' whipped out his trusty video camera and the three were on the road again, in a new quest to scout out Hiei.

Meanwhile, everyone's favorite Jaganshi was struggling to extract himself from the mountain of pillows, with depressingly little result. Finally he got fed up and threw caution to the wind, whipping out his katana and hacking his over-stuffed foe into oblivion. Feathers flew everywhere, much to his chagrin. Muttering mutinous comments against a certain kitsune, teen, and hanyou, he stalked his not-so-merry way out of the store. And abruptly realized that he had no idea where he was. You see, BOTAN was the brains of that operation. Hiei was just...the reluctant passenger. And now he wasn't even that. Now he was just some random youkai lost in the endless abyss that was a ningen mall. And maaaan, was he pissed about it. He reluctantly sheathed his sword and began searching for an exit. Screw the other guys. Every man for himself.

And yet, he actually gave it a second thought. Hiei knew for sure that there would be no possible way for him to escape…unless he were to use his Kokuryuuha but that was SO not the point. Nevertheless, Hiei walked in some random direction until he got to a door that led to his 'exit.' He pressed his hand against the cold glass and stared outside. Outside was where the freedom was. Outside was where there were things to torment, demons to kill. "Kuso!" He hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm not supposed to want help from the ferry girl and from everyone else!" he screamed while looking upward. The Jaganshi suddenly noticed something. Something…clicked. His ruby eyes widened in shock. It was an open skylight. Correction: it was his ticket to get out of the blasted mall once and for all!!! And not wasting anymore time, he leapt up with uncanny grace and in no time, was on the other side of the wall. Well it was true, it WAS apparently every man for himself… "Hn…" If getting outside of the mall wasn't enough of a shocker he turned to his left. There stood the deity of death, a morose look on her face. Morose? Hell definitely froze over. "Did I hear what I think I just heard, Hiei?" Botan inquired recalling a few moments ago when she heard him scream from inside the mall. Her oar magically disappeared into nothing. "Did they force feed you drugs…AGAIN?" She shuddered. The last time that happened, Hiei had pranced around Ningenkai, screaming "joy to the world." The fire youkai folded his arms and scoffed. "Hn. You heard wrong, baka onna. I'm finally out so why would I need YOUR help?"

"Got me..." Botan replied absently. She shivered. "Man, it's COLD." "Yes, ferry girl, that would be the nature of snow. You know, that white fluffy stuff on the ground?" Botan arched an eyebrow. "You? Humor? No wonder it's freezing; Hell hath frozen over!" Hiei 'hn'ed his usual indifference, nudging the frozen precipitation with a toe. The worst of the snow had stopped, but if not for his sheer lightness he probably would have sunk into the several yards deep pile that had accumulated on the roof alone. Botan was having a grand old time hovering on her oar. "You know..." Botan speculated casually. "It's kind of a waste to have a skylight, don't you think? How much heat does that thing let out each day? No wonder all the doors were frozen shut!" The crimson-eyed demon glared at her suspiciously. "If you were able to get out, then why did you come back?" Botan bit her lip. "Well...I was really stoked to get out and everything, and I guess I COULD have stayed at that party, but I felt guilty at leaving you all here." Hiei nodded absently, accepting her explanation, when suddenly it clicked. "THEY WERE HAVING A PARTY?!" he yelled incredulously. "WE'VE BEEN STUCK IN THIS KAMI-FORSAKEN HELLHOLE FOR HOURS ON END AND THEY HAD A PARTY?!!!!" "Wait Hiei--" Botan began, but she didn't have to stop him. Upon his outburst he had begun trudging through the snow--and abruptly sunk. She sweatdropped and dragged him out again. "Goody...the very last thing I need: a moody, youki-less fire demon dying of hypothermia."

"Psh, I don't need your help…" He said as he yanked his arm back and began to trudge again. PLOP. Again he fell into the vast white snow. Botan did what she did before, helping the youkai back up. "I told you! I don't need your EFFING--" PLOP. Botan sighed heavily. "Hiei, you don't always have to be so distant." The fire demon eyed her angrily. "I can do whatever I want and no one can tell me otherwise. Well, not unless they want my katana shoved down their throat." Botan's eyes widened. "With the exception of you, thanks to my being on probation! Curse the damned toddler…" Botan's eyes suddenly shone and Hiei knew what she had up her sleeve. Optimism. He shuddered. "You know, Hiei… with all the powers that you possess, don't you think it would be nice to help people? I mean, I didn't HAVE to come back but I did!" She chirped happily. "You're too…cheerful…" The five-foot-freak muttered under his breath. "Are you on Conzac?" He inquired, having no real idea what it was called.

She stared blankly at him. "Eh...?" He rolled his crimson eyes to the sky. "Never mind. And I can't damn use what I don't happen to have. Namely, my YOUKI? Which no longer resides within me thanks to a certain TODDLER? Remember that?" Botan coughed nervously. "Umm...yeah...about that..." She sneezed. "Oh, it's cold. Can't we go in or something? Please?" He turned away from her. "Hn. You go in. I'll stay. There's no way I'm going into that accursed mall again." The ferry girl shrugged and floated in the direction of the skylight when she suddenly heard a sound. A very quiet, but distinct sound. And it went something like..."ACHOO!" An instant later she was back next to the Jaganshi with a big smirk on her face. "HA! I'm on to your little scheme! You think you're so slick--you just don't want to go back in cause you can't admit that you're stuck and need my help!" "I do NOT," he growled with chattering teeth, "need help. Least of all yours." "Okay, suit yourself. Later!" She pretended to meander off. 'Hah. He'll be begging me for help in a few minutes. Hmm, I wonder how our lovely trio of doom is doing...'

A/N: R&R! Hope it was comical!


	8. Love Is in the Air?

A/N: Curious about the chapter title? Well...hee hee!

And about that aforementioned trio… they were wandering aimlessly around the mall, searching for Hiei, who was actually OUTSIDE the hellish prison that they called a mall. "Damn…PYRO!" Youko screeched at the top of his lungs, about to lose just about ALL of his given sanity. "Chill out, man. Once we get outta here, it'll all be worth it!" Yusuke replied, trying to be ever optimistic while simultaneously grinning his trademark grin. "Hey, I wonder where Hiei is? Ya think he got out or something?" The Reikai Tantei asked his two friends as he stopped randomly and looked around. There was no sign of their morose companion anywhere. Kurama rubbed his temples in frustration. "If Hiei is really outside of this mall…while I myself just came here for nothing…" Kurama paused and his eyes suddenly flashed amber. The freaky fox was going to emerge at any given moment. "HOLY CRAP!" Youko shrieked like a schoolgirl and hid behind Yusuke. "Save me!"

"Whoa now, Kurama," Yusuke said nervously, holding up his hands. "Calm down now. Eeeeasy. Um...chill." None of his words had an effect on the glowering kitsune, whose hair was already a stylish mix of magenta and silver. "Er...er...OSUWARI!" tried Youko from behind Yusuke. Surprisingly, that worked in his own way. Both the thief and the former detective stared at him as though he were insane. Which, at this point, he may well have been. But that's beside the point. "Osuwari?" repeated Kurama, looking rather bizarrely pretty with long silver/pink hair, kitsune ears, and golden green eyes. He had stopped mid-transformation. "What the hell do you think I am, some kind of dog?" Youko coughed nervously. "Not at all...desperate times call for desperate measures. And frankly, my mind is pretty much blank right now, considering I'm trapped in a mall at 4 AM with a juvenile delinquent and a moody sleep-deprived fox." Yusuke and Kurama exchanged a glance. "Ya know...he's got a point," Yusuke mused. Kurama nodded thoughtfully.

"Well I believe that I was getting carried away as it was," Kurama added, reverting back to his innocent-schoolboy-I'm-not-a-devilish-fox-form. While Youko and Yusuke exchanged cynical glances with Kurama, totally unsure if he was going to lash out with his youko state of mind, Botan hovered with her oar, watching everything magically from above. 'Well I can see that they've gotten absolutely nowhere. Oh, silly me, I shouldn't say something like that. Well they HAVE managed to piss Kurama off to the nth degree…which could, you know, result in Yusuke's and Youko's throats getting cut… but that really isn't the point. They won't be getting out for at least a few more hours. Now…I wonder if Hiei needs my help about now…' The ferry girl let out a moan. Of course he would. Being the psychotic half-pint that he was, there was no way that he would be able to cross the baron wasteland of snow without it caving in on him first. 'Hiei, one day you're going to thank me you know--' She stopped short once she heard the aforementioned fire demon squeal. And a girlish fire demon NEVER amounted to any good…especially in the Jaganshi's case.

While Botan went not-so-gallantly to a certain (probably doomed) hi-youkai, the trio of...well, they aren't really the trio of much. They're just a random bunch of people that happen to be trapped in a mall, each in turn the responsibility of the next. But that's really just my meaningless speculation, which has nothing to do with this woefully humorous tale. I bet you all want me to get back to the story, ne? Okay then. Where were we? Oh yes. The tri--random bunch of people that happened to be trapped in a mall together, were speculating their escape, the location of Hiei and Botan, and whether or not one could wear hot pink and still be manly. So far they had no answers, much to their chagrin. So they had taken to wandering the mall, and soon found themselves in front of...the Japanese equivalent of Hot Topic. Whatever that may be called. Hey, did you know that Hot Topic is actually an extension of Abercrombie? Sorry, back to the story. Why exactly were they in front of Hot Topic? Ah, but that is the mystery.

* * *

While the boys were indeed trying to figure the 9th wonder of the world (remember the 8th was why Kurama even decided to help his friends in the first place), with their less than limited brain capacities, Botan had decided that it would be in Hiei's best interest if she were to go and check up on him. "Hiei!" She called as she flew back down on to the ground with her trusty oar. She did not catch sight of a gothic fire youkai anywhere. And what was even stranger, where could he have gone? Surely he was easy to spot so Botan looked around a few more times. "Hiei! Where are you? Surely you couldn't have left already!" Hiei suddenly spat out telepathically …behind…you… Botan immediately whirled around and noticed something deliriously and incredibly funny. The Jaganshi's feet were sticking out of the snow and it looked as if he were upside down. And as much as she enjoyed watching him make a fool of himself, she hovered over to him and yanked him out, his immediate reaction being along the lines of, "Hn…I didn't need YOUR help." Botan scrunched up her nose, getting rather annoyed. And as Hiei tried to walk away, he sunk in again. "DAMN SNOW! CURSE IT! I SHALL KILL IT ONCE MY YOUKI RETURNS!" Hiei tried to get up by himself but couldn't. It was a sad, sad day when snow overpowered the 'mighty' A class demon. And Botan rushed by his side to grab his hand. Hiei violently pulled away again but snapped his head up. He stopped short once he realized that his face was inches away from hers. The only immediate reaction of his was that of a snort and a fierce blush.

'Well, this isn't awkward at all,' Botan thought, jerking away, her face bright red. Unfortunately, she forgot she was still holding on to Hiei's arm, and her sudden movement ended the Jaganshi up with a mouthful of snow. All in all, it wasn't exactly a Kodak moment. Or maybe it was. It all really depends on your point of view. In any case, after a bombardment of apologies, Botan dragged (a now sputtering) Hiei out of the snow, and, before he could get enough of the stuff out of his mouth in order to properly protest, dragged him back through the hole of DOOM--er, I mean, dragged him back through the skylight, and dropped him (ironically enough) back in the very same pile of pillows that he thought he had earlier annihilated. Apparently, he hadn't done a thorough enough job. But anyway, there was an awkward moment of silence, during which Botan hovered on her oar, per usual, and Hiei fought to free his windpipe of the last of the cold water. After that task was accomplished, he glared very pointedly at the ferry girl with his creepily intense crimson eyes. Y'know, frankly, any pair of eyes that happens to be blood red would probably be pretty intense. Ack! No! Off topic again! Where was I? Oh yes. Hiei and his scary hell-gaze. Of course, the effect of this was somewhat lost due to his hair, which was dripping wet and rather more disheveled than usual.

"Umm…" Botan muttered under her breath as she watched Hiei stand up and brush off his dark cloak (his windpipe now free of the snow). "Are you all right, Hiei?" Botan inquired in a small voice, almost afraid to look him in the eyes again. He shrugged and put a hand on his katana hilt lethargically. "Take me back outside. There is NO way that I want to be locked up in this prison again," the youkai demanded walking closer and closer to the frazzled ferry girl. "Please…uhh…" She stammered. "We both know that you wouldn't last out there. Why if it weren't for me coming to your rescue, I believe that you would still be stuck outside, with your head buried in all that snow!" The Jaganshi folded his arms and snorted. "The least you could do is give me your thanks. You know, being so stubborn won't get you anywhere," Botan closed her eyes while she continued to babble coherently. "What, ONNA?! I don't have to be grateful to YOU," he said as he grabbed her wrist and looked dangerously into her eyes. "I never asked for you to come and 'rescue' me so I don't feel like I should be obliged…" He paused and looked into her eyes. "What's with that look, ferry girl?" He snorted. "Oh…nothing…" She muttered as she realized that they were, AGAIN, in a compromising and not to mention gosh darn embarrassing predicament.

* * *

MEANWHILE, the three utterly random and hopelessly lost boys had finally decided on something. And that something was...to enter the aforementioned Hot Topic, and, though it was uncharacteristic for boys, shop! Well, not really shop. More like steal. But hey, they were a team made up of a kleptomaniac, a juvenile delinquent, and a high school boy who had finally snapped under the combination of stress, sleep deprivation, and general random insanity. "I'm sick of wearing the floaty, loose, and vaguely feminine clothing," Kurama decided, sorting through the rack of highly gothic clothing. Hiei would've had a field day in there. "How do you think I'd look in leather?" he asked the others casually. Yusuke was hit by the sudden mental image of Kurama in a Yami Yugi-ish outfit. While any fangirl probably would have screamed delightedly, run around, fainted, and then proceeded to draw fanart of the daydream, Yusuke felt that he would now suffer from a week of nightmares. Youko was too busy poking around in a bin of Happy Bunny to be paying attention. Kurama shrugged. "I'll take a pair and if it doesn't look horrid or cut off my circulation, I'll have a whole new look!"

Youko paused from his sudden and random speculating and glanced over at Kurama. "You're…not…wasted, man are you?" The kitsune shook his head gleefully. "Right, just mentally ill." "We're ALLLLL mentally ill!" Yusuke slurred as he walked over to the incense section, starting to take a whiff of every possible scent there was known to man…or known to goth. "Hey! Guys! Smell Bishounen #01!" Youko was vaguely intrigued by the name and hobbled over, thusly snatching the package out of his friend's hands and inhaling loudly. "Hmm…." Youko mused for a couple of seconds before placing said package back down. "This smells a lot like Kurama…" Yusuke arched an eyebrow. "Dude, are you sniffing fox boy?!" "Err, no!" came the nervous reply of the older teen in question. Kurama had heard his name and in no time at all, came prancing out, grinning a Yusuke grin while simultaneously wearing…dare I say it… SPANDEX. "MY GOD DAMN EYES!" The Reikai Tantei screamed at the top of his lungs while hiding in a shirt rack. "You don't like it then?" The kitsune pouted. Youko sighed forlornly. "Dude, stick to the femme stuff…"

* * *

Botan coughed nervously, trying to look anywhere but at Hiei's eyes...and lips... "Uh, Hiei? Personal space. Needed." Hiei ceased in his intimidation for a moment to give her a blank look. She mentally rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Did he understand any emotional implications except anger and sarcasm? Well, come to think of it, probably not. Time to BLATANTLY hint at it. "Remember what happened the last time you invaded my space? You know, the drunkenness and the ki--" "I get it, I get it!" snapped the Jaganshi nervously, backing away from her as though she had the plague. Y'know, for all we know, that could seriously be what she died from...but enough of my never-ending ramblings. Botan fidgeted for a moment or two, toying with a very cough interesting question that had suddenly popped into her head, courtesy of the rather embarrassing scene that had occurred mere minutes ago. "Um...um...um..." "Yes? Is there something you want to say?" Hiei spat impatiently. He was miserable and soaked and stuck in a pile of never-ending pillows--needless to say, he wasn't in the best of moods. Botan sighed. "Um, never mind, it's a stupid question." Hiei rolled his eyes in boredom. "Ask it anyway. It's not as though we have anything better to do while we wait for the trio of idiots and try to get dry." "No, it's too weird." "Just ask." "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "No." "JUST ASK THE DAMN QUESTION!!!!" "Okay, fine! Do you really kiss like that when you're not drunk?!" Silence. Then... "For once, ferry girl, you were right. You shouldn't have asked that question."

"Well you made me do it!!!" She screeched in her usual grating tone of voice. Hiei plugged up his left ear. More silence. Hiei dared not answer. "Well are you going to answer the question or not? Since you were so…EAGER to hear it in the first place and all!" Hiei winced mentally. What business of Botan's would that be? None…err…wait. On second thought, he was the one who kissed her once. Twice. Damn it! Twice!!! "Why would you even want to know that in the first place? Why would I kiss you?" "Uhh Hiei?" Hiei cursed. He HAD. "Right…" The youkai's cheeks were beet red, as were Botan's. "It's just that uhh…well…" She started, quite reluctant in continuing her train of thought. Hiei's beady red eyes looked questioningly up into her own. "Yes? A pressing question on your mind now, ferry girl?" "Um…"

The ferry girl took a deep breath. "Err, care for an experiment?" Botan asked meekly. Hiei stared at her as though she'd grown a second head. Okay, apparently there ARE certain emotional implications other than anger and sarcasm that he is able to understand. "Go jump off a cliff," he told her flatly. Which, considering what happened to HIM, is a pretty big insult. She sweatdropped. "Hey, I wasn't the one who said I was bored!" He folded his arms moodily. The effect of this was once again somewhat lost, this time due to the mass amount of pillows he was at danger of being swallowed by. "There's a difference between asking a question and what you're implying." "Yes...true..." Botan agreed thoughtfully. "But the seeds of curiosity have been sown!" "And I don't care," Hiei shot back. "Okay, fine," Botan muttered gloomily. "I TOLD you it was a stupid question..."

Silence fell upon the two for a few more seconds. "Well how come you don't want to at least try?" She muttered. He eyed her malevolently. "Do you REALIZE what you are asking of me? Oh wait…maybe you don't. After being trapped in a mall, anyone's brain must be fried at this point, mine included. So onna, I would back off if I were you." The ferry girl's oar disappeared randomly and she lethargically placed a hand on her hip. "Hiei, you know I'm REEEALLLY getting the impression that you're…well…" "Well what!?" He blurted out impatiently. "I think you're scared to do it." His blood red eyes widened "I don't fear anything, baka! Not even something as STUPID as that." "Prove it," came the reply of the blue-haired-deity. A chill suddenly settled over the heart of the fire demon. "Why should I?!" Botan smirked and that only added fuel to the Jaganshi's fire. And since he WAS a fire youkai and all… "I'm not going to believe that there isn't SOMETHING or other that you're scared of! Just admit it then!" Her eyes narrowed at him in distaste and before she knew it, he was about two…say three inches…oh the HELL with it! He was pretty much invading her space again. And before she could stammer, he used his incredible speed and suddenly pressed his lips against hers.

It was now a little late to mention that she had just been trying to get him riled up. Apparently she had succeeded...a little too well. 'Let's see...I'm being willingly kissed by a homicidal fire demon in the middle of Bed Bath and Beyond at some ungodly hour. Dreaming? Hmm. Nope, don't think so.' Hiei pulled away from her, shot her a smug look, meandered in the direction of the exit. "I told you, I'm not afraid of anything. Least of all you." Botan blinked. Then she blinked a few more times. Finally she gave up and followed him. He ignored her for the most part, until she suddenly said, "Well, if you even care, that answered my question..." "Hn." "So you don't wanna know what the answer is?" "No. But considering that you'll probably just annoy me without end and accuse me of cowardice again, just say it anyway." Botan crossed her arms. "Just for that, I'm not going to tell you what it is."

"Fine," he morosely spat out as he walked off in some random direction. But Botan kinda wanted to tell him what she thought and folded her arms. "You want to know, don't you?" She egged on, causing the demon to crack open a ruby orb. He thought for a moment, 'Why in Makai…would she even ask that idiotic question in the first place? If she hadn't, then I could have been well on my way to that party and well on my way to strangling that damned toddler who just so happened to take away ALL of my YOUKI away!' The Jaganshi paused in mid-thought. All in due time would he get his sweet revenge. "Oh come on! You definitely want to know the answer!" Hiei scoffed. "Go ahead, enlighten me," he muttered under his breath. "After all, it's not like you'll be getting used to it anyway…" She looked away for a few seconds. "Er…well, you know…oh fine! I would think that you practice in front of a mirror!" "Excuse ME!?" The temperamental Jaganshi snapped. "Well I don't think that you should show any resentment, Hiei! That was a compliment!" He smirked triumphantly about four seconds later. "So I take it I'm probably better than anyone else. Who WOULD have guessed?"

Botan folded her arms. "Before your ego swells horribly out of proportion, I think you should know that I haven't exactly kissed that many people. For some odd, unknown reason, being the anthropomorphic personification of death is a real turnoff when it comes to getting dates. Go figure." Hiei rolled his eyes. "For your sake, I hope that's sarcasm. And how the HELL can you practice kissing in front of a mirror anyway?" The ferry girl blinked blankly. "You know...that's a good point. I have absolutely no idea." "Nor I," snorted Hiei. There were a few moments of speculating silence, during which neither of them really came up with anything significant, least of all an answer. Oh well. Mark it up as the 10th wonder of the world. Wow, we're really making history today, aren't we? "Well, I've come to a conclusion," Hiei said flatly, mostly to break the silence and try to forget about the whole...'experiment' thing. "That was the stupidest thing you've ever said. It makes no sense whatsoever." Botan pouted. "Well, that's not very nice of you. All I was doing was trying to pay you a compliment...and…well, yeah..."

And suddenly, the two were interrupted by the sounds of maniacal laughter and a THUD. "Ow, ass! That was my foot!" Yusuke screamed at a certain kitsune who now rolled his eyes in distaste and went back to watching Hiei and Botan. Hiei's eyes widened in fear. "Where did you people come from?!" His blood suddenly ran cold as a certain revelation sunk into the youkai's mind. Just HOW long were they watching…and HOW long was Youko's CAMERA out!? "Tell me you didn't…" The Jaganshi stammered. "Oh but we DID!" Yusuke and Youko chorused while Kurama bit his thumb, trying his level best not to guffaw. "Ya like her! Ya like her! Man this is awesome!" Youko said, making a victory sign with his left hand. Kurama chuckled a few times. "I knew that you didn't mind her company all along but to kiss her like that, Hiei? As your best friend, even I could never predict something like this." Hiei growled in embarrassment and his cheeks turned crimson within a few given moments. "Shounen…" Hiei hissed. "Err…should I start running now?!"

"Yes," said four voices in unison, varying from amused to out for blood. The ningen boy blinked once very slowly...then turned tail and sped out of there. Hiei stood and watched. Kurama raised an eyebrow. "Self-restraint? From YOU? Maybe Botan's not such a bad influence after all." The girl in question blushed. Hiei just smirked slightly. "Oh, it's not that. I just want him to suffer a little first. And if there's one thing I've learned from you, Kurama, is that there's no greater suffering than constantly wondering when your end is going to come." Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Congratulations, Kurama. You have...somehow managed to make our dear fire demon even more of a sadist than he already was. And they said it couldn't be done..." Botan fussed around with her hair, hoping that the others would somehow magically forget the events of a mere five minutes ago. "Hey Kurama, who knew you were really being serious when you made that comment about Hiei liking Botan earlier?" No such luck. "It wasn't really a legitimate kiss," Botan defended. "We were bored and I was baiting him." Kurama raised an eyebrow. "I really hate to point this out, Botan, but we've all been quite bored and baited one another before, and nothing like this has ever happened." "And I hate to point this out to YOU, Kurama," Botan shot back, "but all four of you are GUYS."

"True," Kurama mused. "But what exactly did you say to him that made him do something like THAT?" the kitsune wondered. Surely he was very curious as to what Botan did to make Hiei's seal of emotions crack. Crack, I said? Oh I'm sorry, I meant shatter. "Probably told him that she would let him kill as many dudes as he wanted to without getting in trouble in exchange for the kiss," Yusuke snorted. Kurama chuckled. "Hn. Hardly. And even if that WERE to be the case, the damned toddler would have taken my YOUKI away for yet another reason." "Okay then, Mr. Manic…" Yusuke muttered, "why did you kiss her? I mean, I could be wasted, think this was all a really crazy dream, wake up at some random time, and beat a couple guys up tomorrow but ya know…even if I AM sober right now, I don't see how you can wiggle your way out of this one…" Hiei 'hn'ed. "Tantei, you should just keep to yourself. Whatever I did a few minutes ago probably is something that your puny brain could never register…even in a hanyou's lifetime…" Yusuke jabbed his pointer finger in the air. "Ya made out." "Looks like he got you there, Hiei," Botan muttered cynically.

"Although..." she added, folding her arms speculatively. Wow, they really are doing a lot of that, aren't they? They've had so little sleep that they've simply taken to contemplating the workings of the universe. Quite profound, isn't it? Okay, maybe not. "Y'know, it wasn't really making out. Making out would be like...frenching, right? And that kiss was about 0.25 seconds long. It barely even qualifies as a kiss." "Don't try to get me all confused with your complicated technicalities!" yelled Yusuke passionately, waving his hands around in the air. He was really getting into this conversation. "And even if I'M not the brightest bulb in the box, Kurama can explain it all to me! So HA!" Botan rolled her eyes. "And as for the bit about the baiting... Yusuke...if I said that I would forever accuse you of being a pansy if you didn't kiss me, would you be able to live it down?" The Tantei fell silent. "Dammit!" he cried, snapping his fingers in remorse. "Caught in my own web of manliness!" Hiei and Kurama, on a (very very temporary) friendly basis, exchanged a slightly worried glance.

A/N: Yes! Finally! Some romance! But even MORE humor! Hope ya liked! R&R!


	9. Snowbound!

A/N: The LAST chapter...how WILL these FREAKS fair?!?!?!

Youko was still in the random depths of the mall, starting ever happily at his prized video camera. "What they won't know DEFINITELY won't hurt them and will SURE AS HELL nail me SOME kind of prize." Yes. You guessed it. He had any and EVERY intent of showing that tape to as many people as he could possibly find. Perhaps this would bring up a new statement of: wow, aliens/freaks really DO exist! The cautious teen looked left and right but there was no sign of his bizarre troupe and so, ran into yet another random hallway. You know, at 4:30 in the morning, just about ALL of the hallways were beginning to look alike. "Now…how TO get out of here…" Youko muttered under his breath. "Ya could just look for us and we could kinda get you out. Where the HECK did you run of to?" The Reikai Tantei suddenly inquired as he and the 'posse' of said freaks came up from behind him. Ooookay…so maybe Youko had NO idea where he was going and ended up getting back to where he once started. The brunette jumped in fright and hid his camera (from the eyesight of the manic fire demon, mostly) and cried out in a paranoid…ish manner, "What, what!? No I wasn't about to ruin all of your lives by making this tape public knowledge and then later winning an Oscar for it! What are you kidding!?" All except Youko glanced at each other forlornly. There was no hope for the boy. He HAD snapped.

"Of COURSE you weren't," Yusuke assured him agreeably, putting an arm on his shoulder. Then, just as Youko had relaxed, he snatched the video camera and took to the hills. "COME BACK WITH THAT!!!" screamed three different voices at once, but just as they were about to sprint after the wayward detective, they suddenly found themselves bound with vines. "YOU!!!" hollered Hiei accusingly. "You and him! You've been conspiring all along! YOU PLANNED ALL THIS!!!" Kurama raised an eyebrow at him. "Actually, we just came up with this like, five minutes ago." "Alas, my namesake!" Youko cried theatrically. "Why have you betrayed me?!" Kurama shrugged. "Well, why not? The world turns, the grass grows, and thieves often end up betraying people. That's the way things are."  
Youko mused for a few seconds. He had three options. One: Go and run like hell to at least TRY and get his video camera back from some deranged delinquent. Two: Start crying. Three: Render Hiei unconscious just for the sheer excitement (and to relive stress). Brushing his bangs out of his face and shutting himself up for two seconds, he had decided to go with choice number two. "YAAAAAAAAH!" He wailed. Hiei winced mentally and covered his ears with randomly acquired earplugs that he had (conveniently) pulled out of Kurama's hair. "Why?! Yusuke come BACK!" Kurama too, rummaged through his hair…and found a nice looking CD player. "No…one…is LISTENING! YAAAAAAAH!" The teen stomped his left foot on the ground. Desperate times really called for desperate measures. THWACK! Hiei was on the ground in less than two seconds, Kurama eyeing the boy in awe. "Kurama…Youko…WHATEVER the hell you are… now I'm mad and once I get my camera…you're ALLLLLL going down!" The manic boy proceeded in choosing his last step out of the three and hightailed it in a random direction in hopes of nailing Yusuke.

Both Kurama and Botan blinked very slowly and stared after the deranged brunette. "You know," Kurama speculated after a lengthy pause, "I don't think all this solitude is good for his presence of mind." Botan rolled her eyes at him. "Oh it's not the solitude. It's the amount of time he's spent with us." She poked morosely at Hiei. "One of the most feared demons in Makai, you'd think he'd be able to stay conscious longer, wouldn't you?" The kitsune shrugged. "No youki, remember?" Botan groaned. "Urg, don't remind me. He already has. About ten times, no less. And if he's such a great swordsman he should be physically fit with or without his youki, no matter what anyone else says." Kurama yawned. "Good point." There was another lengthy silence, then... "Uh, Kurama? Plan on letting me go any time soon?" "Nope. Can't say that there is."

Botan rolled her eyes. "C'mon! I am SO not a threat anymore! Here, if you want me to go, I'll just whip out my oar and…yeah…gobacktothepartythatKoenmaishavingrightnowaswespeak…" Botan said quickly so that Kurama would HOPEFULLY still stay sane. Well THAT was hardly likely. Meanwhile, off with our not-so-happy Youko, he ran randomly down a dimly lit corridor, passing a Forever 21 store. "Yusuke!" Youko hissed through clenched teeth. The brunette looked to his left and raised an eyebrow. There was the Reikai Tantei, posing in the display window, TRYING to do his level best to stand as still as a statue. "Yusuke…get down from there…and GET RID of that skirt!" Youko had been scared for life…as if being in a mall wasn't bad enough. He had just seen Yusuke in a short mini-skirt. Oh the AGONY. "Damn! And I thought it was foolproof!" Yusuke said as he snorted, walked down, and held the video camera in front of him. "Don't worry man, I'm still on your side!" "YES!" The eighteen-year-old teen shrieked in delight.

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Dude...your maturity level's dropped lower than mine. And THAT is damn near impossible." Youko didn't say anything. He was just staring at Yusuke with a very traumatized expression on his face. The Tantei blinked. "What?" Youko mumbled something unintelligible. Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "What'd you say? Itchy squirt? Emy shirt? Inny smurt?" "MINISKIRT, YOU IDIOT!!!" Youko burst out finally. "YOU'RE STILL WEARING ONE, YOU DAMNED FOOL!!!!" Yusuke looked down. "Crap...you're right." He zipped off in the direction of the changing room...hopefully to recover his pants. Wow, that didn't come out right. Meanwhile, Youko finally realized something. "Hey, wait a minute...GIVE ME BACK MY VIDEO CAMERA, YOU THIEF!!!!!!"

He ran after Yusuke with his quick sprinting speed. "I thought you said that you were on MY SIIIIIDEEE!" Yusuke rounded a corner and slowed down once he had gotten into Forever 21's changing room (while Youko was momentarily battling a rack of tank tops that he randomly got himself entangled in). And by the time that he actually reached said room, Yusuke was already done changing and he lethargically kicked the skirt to the side. "Okay…" Youko breathed, trying to calm himself down. "Will you PLEASE tell me why you are now in cahoots with Mr. Fox-boy!" The JD raised an eyebrow. "It was just something that I could do to pass the time. I still want to blackmail them though. Meaning…I still am in an alliance with you. And besides, who WOULDN'T want to see Hiei drunk? I bet that everyone would get a kick out of it!" Youko grinned. FINALLY, things seemed to brighten up. "Ya know I still need a copy of this tape!" "Will do!" They high fived each other and before they left, Youko looked forlornly at the skirt. "Next time flame boy gets drunk…" Yusuke laughed inwardly. "I'll remember that…"

Meanwhile, back at...the other place, which was presumably inside of Bed Bath and Beyond, Botan was all alone. Okay, so Hiei was there, but an unconscious person is hardly any company to speak of. In any case, Kurama had vanished into realms unknown, as youko would do every now and then. Especially in the traditional Yu Yu Hakusho humor story. But enough of breaking the fourth wall. Right. Botan. Alone. In the store. Well, be it as it may, she eventually got free, mostly because Kurama was no longer there to support his pretty plants. So, she decided to take a short walk in order to find Yusuke and Youko and thus, bash their heads in--err, talk some sense into them about that tape. Yeah. Sure. Like THAT would really turn out. But hey, can't blame a girl for trying, ne?

While Botan was trying her level best to find the 'Y' duo, Kurama was scouting out Starbucks. 4:45 in the freaking morning and he was STILL awake, STILL stuck with his idiot 'friends', and STILL as calm as ever. It sort of annoyed him. "Caffeine would be just what I need right now," he muttered to himself, directing himself to a directory. Wow. "Let's see…I am…here…well that is very fitting indeed. Apparently, I KNOW where I am…" Kurama had seriously lost it. He had begun to speak to himself. Now, we all know that he surely wasn't Sensui, ergo it was certainly NOT normal to strike up a conversation with himself. Nevertheless, the kitsune no longer cared. "Two…floors…up…okay, that works." He walked in a random direction and was very thankful that he suddenly found himself in front of an escalator. "Yatta…" He muttered as he stepped onto the escalator and let it carry him painstakingly upward. Once Kurama was about to step off, he suddenly heard something. RIIIP. Followed by a: THUD and then an OUCH. Kurama had done a face plant into the floor, courtesy of his wonderfully tight spandex getting caught in a lone escalator stair. "I…knew…that…I…should…have…stayed…home…" Kurama groaned. So much for going for a whole new look. As quickly as he had arrived on the new floor, he ventured back down to Hot Topic in hopes of retrieving his loose garments.

MEANWHILE, Yusuke and Youko, completely unaware of the fact that they were being 'hunted down' by a now vaguely deranged blue-haired deity of death wielding an oar, were once again having a good long laugh over The Tape. "It never gets old!" Yusuke proclaimed, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Youko man, I dunno where you live but we'd better keep in touch!" "Osaka," the brunette clarified, still bursting into the occasional bout of snickers every now and then. "We could exchange email addresses later." He snapped his fingers. "Umm...by the way...have you, y'know, changed your mind?" Yusuke stared blankly at him. "About...?" Youko looked a little apprehensive. "Well, you know, Hiei? With his Jagan? That apparently won't vaporize me, may or may not hurt, but will definitely wipe my memory clean of this incident?" The delinquent's brown eyes widened. "Dude...DUH!!!! I TOTALLY forgot about that! There is NO WAY in HELL that you are getting your memories erased now!!!! And when I say that, I mean it. Trust me. I've got connections with Reikai, man." Youko grinned, rubbing his hands together. "What looked like the beginnings of a beautiful friendship may now blossom into one monster of a partnership." The two boys high-fived. As dramatic as the moment SHOULD be, it actually looked kind of dorky. Oh well. Boys will be boys, after all.

"And WHAT did I hear you say?" The aforementioned ferry girl snapped as she walked straight up to the two, oar at the ready. "Youko CAN and WILL get his memory erased! Koenma-sama will see to that!" She snapped, Youko backing away in fright. The bags under her eyes made the situation even worse. The two boys could tell that she was tired and in the process of losing it. Oh wait, I think she lost it in chapter six. Never mind then. "Chill out Botan!" Yusuke screeched. "I told ya a thousand times, this guy's cool by association! And if the toddler doesn't like it, then I can kick his ass!" Youko applauded. "That was great acting man." "Dude, I was totally serious." The other teen shut himself up. He obviously had no idea WHO the HELL Koenma was so that didn't really help things anyway. He also didn't see that Yusuke got whacked by Botan's oar. "KUSO!" He yelped as he held his head. "That is gonna HURT tomorrow…" Youko mused. "But anyways…" He turned to Botan and outstretched his pointer finger. "Do you have ANY idea where flame boy and fox freak are?" There was suddenly a random pause. "Anyone is prone to going psycho by now so I wouldn't worry," Yusuke said coolly. "I WOULD!" Miss Death cried as she used her oar to race down the hallways, Yusuke and Youko shrugging while simultaneously following the worrywart.

As for Hiei, he had regained consciousness...to find himself alone. Oh woe is Hiei. Well, not really. He IS the rather isolated type anyway, isn't he? Unfortunately for him, Kurama meandered back in, now safely back in his own somewhat floaty clothing. The kitsune looked quite lost. "Oh, hello Hiei," he said vaguely, having spotted the vertically challenged youkai. "What brings you here?" Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Not one for sleep, are you? Don't you think that's a little hazardous to your health?" "Hypocrite," Kurama muttered, before suddenly passing out in...yes, you guessed it: that infamous never-ending pile of pillows. Hiei blinked. "That was uncalled for." He then noticed the bottle of aspirin hanging out of Kurama's pocket. "'May cause drowsiness'," he read to himself. The fire demon rolled his eyes. "Well, THAT'S a definite understatement. Baka ningens."

Being the ever loyal friend that Hiei was, he didn't even let Kurama have the luxury of lying in fluffy white pillows for even one minute. Yes. In no time at all, the morose fire demon was seen dragging Kurama by the legs, the kitsune's snoring decibels growing with every passing second. Either things were looking really up for the troupe, or there was just some freaky force out there that really wanted to get them all out of the accursed prison known as the mall…Botan, Yusuke, and Youko had finally reunited with Hiei and Kurama. "Dude, what did you do to him?" Youko asked, vaguely envying Kurama at the same time, seeing how he was dead asleep. "Hn…the label…" He said in a monotonous voice while simultaneously pointing at a bottle of aspirin. "Well gee, that works…" Yusuke snorted cynically. "Great…okay so we're all back. NOW what the hell do we do?" "Get out of here and then fillet the toddler," the Jaganshi snapped, cracking his knuckles. "And WHAT did I say about keeping the loss of blood to a minimum when we first got trapped Hiei!? You really have a horrible memory!" Botan chided, waving a finger at him. "Hn. Spare me…"

"He's right about one thing, though," Youko mused, looking around and folding his arms pensively. "We really need to get out of here. I mean, I know we're all like, criminally insane right now, but we can still ditch this place before our brains deteriorate any further." "We should wake Kurama up first," Yusuke announced, producing an ice-cold water bottle from out of nowhere and dumping it all over the aforementioned kitsune's head. "WHERE'S THE FIRE?!" Kurama yelled, sputtering slightly and bolting up. He stared disorientedly around at them all. "Damn. I was hoping the mall part was only a dream." Botan grinned. "No such luck, but hey, I have good news!" Kurama, Youko, and Yusuke all stared at her hopefully. She raised an index finger...and slowly and dramatically pointed at the skylight. Yusuke stared. Kurama stared. Youko stared. Hiei sharpened his katana on a knife sharpener and prepared to mince Koenma. "How did we NOT notice that before?!" Youko finally yelled. Botan shrugged cheerfully. "Dunno. But you're gonna have to accredit Hiei here for finding it!"

"YES!" Youko punched a fist into the air for the second time that night. "ACTUAL FREEDOM! And I never thought that PYRO would help us get there!" Everyone exchanged friendly glances before Hiei had abruptly shot upward like a missile, through the aforementioned skylight. "Well…he's quick…" Yusuke noted, while seconds later, pulling the same trick. Botan whipped out her oar and Kurama felt through his hair for his trusty rose whip. "Er…wait a second! What about me!?" Youko cried, obviously feeling left out, for he had no freakish powers to speak of in the least. Yusuke pounded his fist onto his palm. "Oh right! Dude, sorry about that. Y'know, with being around you guys for this long, I thought that you were already one of us our something." Youko raised an eyebrow. "Hardly." Kurama pitied the poor NORMAL boy and tossed down his rose whip so that he may climb it. "Just…! Watch out for the thorns!" Kurama warned just as Youko was about to place a hand on his getaway. The teen's eyes widened in shock. "Ohh…NO!" Youko backed away in fright, crossing his two forefingers. "I have been through HELL already just by getting trapped here! Ya think I wanna make this night…err…morning even worse?" And before the teen had anymore time to protest, Hiei had leapt down and back up, setting the teen outside the mall within the blink of an eye. "Gee, now…WHY would you be so nice all of a sudden, flame boy!?" "Even the toddler couldn't make me answer that one," Hiei snapped while simultaneously glaring intently at his sharp katana, the thought of slaughtering the Reikai Prince slithering slowly but surely back into his "things to do" list.

"Flame boy's in loooooove," sang Youko, smirking slightly. Hiei stared at him blandly for a moment, then without the slightest change in expression, shoved the brunette back down the skylight. "HIEI!!!!" shrieked Botan, Yusuke, and Kurama. The ferry girl pulled a quick rescue operation and a second later Youko was back on the roof safe, sound, and hyperventilating. Yusuke threw his hands up in the air. "For Pete's sake, can't we just get along?!!!" There was silence. The tiny troupe exchanged a glance. "Yeah...sure...fine with me..." There were general mutterings of consent. Yusuke grinned. "Right then people...hmmmm...PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!!!" he yelled randomly. "WOOT!!!" Youko, of course. "Why the hell not?" agreed Kurama amiably. His mood was greatly improved from his escape. Hiei scowled. "Not just yet," he growled. "I WILL get my revenge on the toddler first." Botan put a hand on his shoulder. "Please don't," she said pleadingly. "Listen, I know vengeance is your number one thing, but I want to keep my job! And anyway," she added with a mischievous smile, "I think leaving them alone is the worser of the two punishments." Hiei raised an inquiring eyebrow, then shrugged nonchalantly and turned to the other three boys. "...Let's get the hell out of here..." he muttered finally. "YEAH!!! PARTY ON, DUDES!!!!" ...That one was Yusuke. And with that, the united team of weary travelers linked arms and walked off dramatically into the sunset--record screeches to a halt wait a minute, we can't have a moment THAT out of character! Okay, what really happened was that they all sank five feet into the snow and ended up crawling off to Yusuke's house with the sun rising in its normal, boring fashion behind them where they could neither see nor enjoy it. And that was the less-than-monumental ending of their adventures...  
MEANWHILE, AT GENKAI'S SHRINE...  
"Genkai, you didn't say anything about the powerline being knocked down," yelled Shizuru, looking around for a candle. "Get your hand OFF of that!" she yelped suddenly, smacking someone across the face. "OW!!!" came Chuu's voice through the darkness. "Hey, I found the door!" announced Rinku happily. Silence. "Ummmmm, it's not opening..." "Guess the snow must be holding it shut," deduced Keiko. "That does NOT explain why I can't knock it down..." Rinku muttered. "My wards do!" snapped Genkai irritably. "Do you REALLY think I'll allow a surplus of BLOODSHED in my temple?!" More silence. "Wait...but if the snow's holding the door shut..." "And we don't have our ki..." "And we can't call anyone since the power's out..." Yes, that's right boys and girls! Karma has played its hand. These guys are...SNOWBOUND!!!!!!

A/N: FINISHED! YES! Okay then! ....! Yeah!


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